


You're the light that I won't let go

by Mylovelylesbians



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Josh and Donna coming back together, everybody is family, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-07-06 02:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mylovelylesbians/pseuds/Mylovelylesbians
Summary: When Josh has a panic attack on the campaign trail for Santos he finds himself needing help from a former assistant but both are still hurt from past actions. Will they come together or have they already lost each other?





	1. Something good comes with the bad

**Author's Note:**

> This piece starts in about 3/4's of the way through season 6. It follows the general timeline but there are a few differences. Notably, I brought Lou into season 6 mostly because I like her. 
> 
> I don't own any of these characters but I do love them like they are my own. 
> 
> The title of the story and all its chapters belong to songs by First Aid Kit.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the story!

Josh’s eyes darted around the cold field, the sounds of sirens mixing with the sounds of Mozart in his head as he counted who was with him. 

There had been a fire at the hotel. He woke up to the alarm as soon as it started and immediately had a checklist going of who he needed to wake up, who was on the floor with him “get everyone out, get everyone out” cycled through his brain, not breaking for a second as he launched himself at the room the Santos’s were in, yelling, banging on the doors. He could smell the smoke, not a lot but enough to knew that it wasn’t a false alarm, that he needed to get everyone out. 

Eventually, everyone had gathered on the field. Josh knew exactly where the meeting point was, he checked that at every hotel he stayed at. He wasn’t about to let it happen again. Nobody else was going to die because Josh didn’t know what to do. Lou, Ronna, Edie, Bram, The Congressman, Helen, the volunteers. He couldn’t think of anyone on their team who wasn’t here but he wasn’t sure, he wasn’t thinking properly maybe he forgot someone, maybe someone was still in there, he should go back in, he should go check just one more time, just in case.

He caught sight of the Russell campaign team on the other side of the pitch, saw Will, saw Bob Russell. But there was one more face he couldn’t find. Josh kept looking back and forward scanning the crowds desperately as he tried to keep his breathing under control, trying to pretend like everything is ok. He was turning in circles now, looking everywhere for the flash of blonde in the crowd that he knew so well, listening past the sirens and the concerto for her voice. 

Those around him had noticed his bizarre behaviour and were starting to close around him. No! Didn’t they know, just give him space, let him breathe, get out get out get out. His brain was starting to give out, he recognised the signs of a panic attack, he had certainly had enough. Santos reached out to grab his arm and Josh was already flinching away, don’t let him touch you. But he couldn’t find the words to say exactly what he wanted said, to let known what was wrong. 

“Don’t touch him” suddenly a strong voice appeared from behind him, familiar and grounding, making her way forward. “Nobody touches him” she reaffirmed 

“Who are you” Lou was quick to speak up 

“You’re from the Russell campaign” Matt recognised her, wondering what a spokeswoman was doing inserting herself next to his campaign manager and telling them all what to do

Josh finally spoke up “Donna” he whispered “help”

Donna immediately found herself at her side “do you want me to touch you?” Josh was torn, he wanted her touch, always but it was still too much and he found himself shaking his head “that’s ok, you’re ok” she soothed “you got everyone out ok, your whole team is here, Will got out, I’m out it’s ok, nobody is still in there. 

“Joanie?” Josh asked causing Donna to pale 

“Josh, do you know where you are?” But Josh didn’t answer, he was too far gone now, lost in the fires of the past “Ok Josh, it’s all good, everything is fine. I just need you to sit down now ok, can you do that by yourself” Donna fell back into a routine that had become scarily familiar in the past.

Josh jerked his head, knowing his legs wouldn’t let him lower himself to the ground, Donna wrapped her arm around his side, lowering both of them to the ground together before moving away to give him some space as well as trying to hide from an intimacy that once had been so familiar and now found itself at odds with their current situation. 

“Josh, we are going to start with breathing and then we will work on your heart rate - is that all good with you?” Josh didn’t protest so Donna took that as a good sign. She slowly led him through the breathing “Josh we are going to breathe in for 5 counts and then out for 5” Donna counts for Josh slowly matching her breathing as well. Slowly Josh’s breathing starts to return to normal although still shaky.

As Josh’s breathing calmed down Donna knew it would be wise to get his heart rate to follow “Josh I want you to rest your hand over my heart and focus on that” Donna could only hope her own heart rate wouldn’t skyrocket when Josh rested his hand on her chest. It took some manoeuvring but eventually, Donna got Josh’s hand against her chest with one of her own against the pulse point of his neck and her other arm still holding him up. When they were settled Donna finally looked up at her audience “Congressman, nice to meet you. I would shake your hand but” she gestured her head to the situation at hand

“No it’s fine” the Congressman answered briskly “but can you please tell me what is going on and who exactly you are?” Santos was exasperated by not knowing who this woman was and why she was currently on the ground with his campaign manager.

“Donna Moss, spokeswoman for and advisor to Bob Russell”

“So you do work for the Russell campaign - how do I know you won’t use this against us, ‘the Santos head guy collapsing in a heap at a hotel would make a good attack ad” Santos snarked to Donnas

Donna looked devastated by the accusation “I would never, I could never hurt Josh in such a way.”

“Well forgive me for not immediately trusting someone from the other team.”

Donna opened her mouth to reply but was bet to it by the man on the ground

“Trust Donna always” Donna looked down to see Josh still curled into her, his eyes facing the ground but his heart rate starting to match her own.

“Hey” Donna whispered moving her hand to wipe the hair out of his eyes “You need a haircut” Donna tried to keep some levity in her voice 

Josh finally looked up at her, his eyes begging “need to know they are safe” he whispered, his voice was still frantic and Donna knew he was about to descend out of the calm she had got him to if he didn’t know that his makeshift family was safe and he hadn’t left them behind.

“Who do you want first, White House or Sam, it’s still early enough to catch everyone at the White House”

“C.J”

“Yeah I thought you would” she smiled softly before looking at her audience “I need someone to make a call for me” one of the women responded instantly and pulled out her phone ready to dial. Donna smiled before rattling off Margaret’s number “that is the personal number of the Chief of Staff’s assistant Margaret Hooper - when she answers I want you to tell her you have Donna here and we have a situation with Josh she will then connect you to either C.J Cregg, Leo McGarry or President Bartlet depending who can be pulled out of their meeting first - if you have a choice get transferred to C.J first” the young woman looked stunned by the small woman on the ground asking her to call the President but quickly put on her game face as she dialled the number and worked through the instructions.

Donna was half listening as she made the call to make sure she followed her instructions but most of her attention was on studying the man in front of her while slowly murmuring to him, keep her words soft as to not upset him further. Finally, the young woman spoke up again “Evening Ms Cregg, I have Donna here for you”

“Can you put your phone on speaker?” Donna asked, 

“Donna” C.J’s voice came through the phone “Darling, you guys there?” 

“Hey C.J” Donna smiled at the older woman reassuring voice “It’s a pretty bad one, there was a fire and alarms he wants to talk to you first” 

“Hey, mi amor.” C.J softens her voice and works through the plan Donna had designed for this occasion “I was just sitting in my office, it was pretty cold which means when you talk to the President he is going to say it is nice and warm” Donna smiled slightly remembering the debates the Senior Staff used to have with the President. 

“C.J, just thought I would say before you divulge state secrets you are on speaker with Congressman Santos and his campaign staff”

“Thanks Donna, Hi Congressman, Josh will be just fine, don’t worry too much. It can be scary the first time” 

“Hello, Ms Cregg” Santos responds 

“Josh, you missed Senator Rosenthal having a complete meltdown the other day, honestly he just lost it at the Speaker” and with that C.J launched into a hilarious story as though they were two friends drinking side by side instead of one friend helping the other one down from a panic attack. By the end of her story she had Santos’s team giggling quietly at the antics and Josh had almost managed a smile although his hand was still against Donna’s chest, feeling her heart.

“I’m going to have to hand you over to the President Josh, you know how he gets when he isn’t the first one to talk to someone” 

“Thanks C.J” Donna smiled 

“Donnatella” the President boomed through the phone. 

“Mr President” Donna smiled at the warm familiarity 

“I am so glad you are there with him” Donna blushed at the praise from the man she looked up to. 

“Me to Sir”

“Hi Josh, I was sitting in a very warm Oval office when I heard C.J was talking to you and I thought I would come to say hi, anyway I was reading this book the other day, did you know that in French there are seventeen words for surrender, what did we ever do to them to make them have that many words” and so the President went on listing the most useless facts that he could come up with like a regular day and they did the same thing with Leo, letting each of them talk until Josh could convince himself that his family was safe and nothing was going to hurt them. 

“Sam” He whispered reminding Donna there was still one more call to make 

“Leo I am sorry to interrupt, we also need to call Sam” 

“Of course, Donna if you could call me and C.J later that would be appreciated”

“Will do Leo, thank you for everything” 

Donna grabbed the phone and quickly dialled Sam’s number

“Sam Seaborn” He answered almost immediately 

“Hi Sam it’s Donna”

“Donna! What can I do for you?” Sam exclaimed excitedly, in his way of making everybody feel special 

“I am here with Josh and we have had a bit of an episode, I was wondering if you could just talk to him, let him know everything is ok?” 

“Of course, Hey Josh. Sorry about any background noise I am on a beach in California, you would love it here it is much warmer than Washington. Anyway, I have been following the campaign, that speech in Kentucky was fantastic, I would love to sit down with the guy who wrote that” And so like the rest of their family Sam talked and slowly Josh relaxed against Donna. 

“Thanks Sam” Josh whispered as Sam began to wind up 

“Anytime Buddy, thanks for looking out for him Donna” Josh breathed out slowly as Donna hung up the phone 

“Josh do you remember what happened” 

“There was a fire, and the sirens yeah”

“Yeah, and you got everyone out and it is all good. Now we are sitting on the field at the meeting point” Donna hoped he was ready to stand up, the midnight chill starting to seep into her skin 

“Donnatella?” Josh asked 

“Yeah Joshua?”

“Thank you” Donna smiled at the kind words 

“Come on Josh, I think it’s time we get you inside. The fire was contained to a small section and the building is completely sound” Donna assured “Congressman, can you help me stand him up”

Josh started looking up from where he had been studiously watching the ground “The Congressman is still here?” 

“Of course Josh, I wouldn’t leave until I knew you were ok” 

“They care about you Josh” Donna murmured “You have a good bunch here”

“Could be better, if you were with us” Josh said without thinking as Santos helped him stand up 

Donna paused stunned at Josh’s admission but she knew he didn’t really mean that he didn’t need her, she just happened to be here at the right time.

“Congressman, I am going to take Josh back to his room and get him warmed up. I won’t leave him until I know he will be ok”

“Donna, I have no idea who you are or how you knew what to do with whatever just happened but I just watched the President of the United States answer the phone at your request, so I am going to trust you. Thank you for looking after him, I won’t forget this” Santos helped take Josh towards the lift, steading him when he stumbled although now he was starting to come back to himself now that he knew everyone was safe. 

When they finally reached Josh’s door. Donna pushed it open helping Josh inside. The move reminiscent of nights on the campaign when Josh’s delicate system caught up with him 

“Thank you, Congressman, what time would you like Josh in the morning” 

“Would it be better if he could take the day off?”

“In my opinion yes but my chances of convincing him that are slim, but I will try, he won’t want any focus on what happened last night”

“I won’t bring it up unless he does” he nods as he closes the door

“Goodnight, thank you”

Once Donna had Josh inside she lead him to the bathroom

“I’m gonna let you have a shower ok. I want you to warm up before you go to sleep. I will be here when you are finished.

Donna used the time that Josh was in the shower to tidy up the area and making two cups of tea for them trying to ignore the ache in her heart at the fact she had briefly had returned to the man she had held so dear and that every moment of this time spent together meant more to her than what she would have done with Russell. Finally, she hears Josh come out of the bathroom and pad into the sitting room to sit next to Donna on the couch smiling tiredly.

“How bad was it tonight” 

“How much do you remember”

“I remember getting everyone out and then listening to Leo speak but not really anything in the middle”

“You asked for Joanie,” Donna said softly laying her arm on his hand

“Really?” Josh sighed, tears welling in his eyes

“Yeah” Donna murmured “I’m sorry”

“We talked to C.J yes?” Josh looked concerned quickly

“Yeah, she was the first person”

“And everybody is ok”

“Yeah - nobody was hurt by the fire I already checked” they both fell into a silence, sipping slowly at their tea

“Donna”

“Yeah”

“Thank you, for everything tonight”

Donna smiled softly before Josh wrapped her up in his arms placing his head in her neck and holding her as tight as possible. They stayed like that until Donna felt him yawn against her shoulder “Ok, let’s get you into bed, I’m going to set your alarm for 8:30 ok” Josh just nodded into her arms already on the verge of falling asleep.

Josh was asleep almost the second he hit the pillow, with just one murmured good night to Donna and a deep sigh.

Donna crept out of the room quietly, grabbing one of Josh’s room keys and heading towards her own room needing to call back the White House and to warm herself up.

C.J answered on the first ring. “Hey Donna” she sounded tired even through the phone, she had evidently been worrying since their last phone call “you are on speaker with the President and Leo, how is Josh?”

“Hi Sir, Hi, Leo. Josh is asleep now. He seems to be a bit better. Knowing that you all were safe really seemed to help him”

“And how are you, Donna?” The President asked to Donna’s surprise

“Oh Sir, I’m fine, why do you ask?”

“Because we have all been in the room with Josh during an episode and it is scary, let alone doing it with a bunch of people you don’t know.” C.J finished the sentence for him. 

“It was bad C.J, it was really bad” Donna whispered into the phone her voice betraying the tears sliding down her cheeks 

“Oh Donna,” C.J and the President say at the same time and Donna sighed letting the silence fill the air until C.J spoke up again “there has been something on my mind Donna, why did Josh want to speak to me first?”

“When I first found him he was looking for Joanie, he needed his sister and C.J that’s you”

C.J couldn’t help her slight gasp at the idea Josh needed her because he saw her as a sister 

“Hey guys, I know you are worried but I really need to shower and get back to Josh is it ok if I leave you now. I will ring you back if he goes downhill again or he can hold a conversation with you guys”

“Of course Donna you take care of yourself as well” the Presidents fatherly tone came out as he said farewell to the former assistant 

“Thank you, Sir, for everything, you to Leo, C.J” 

“Bye Donna” C.J finished the call there, leaving Donna to shower. 

It only took Donna an hour to clean herself up and gather up some work materials to work on until Josh woke up and so Donna found herself back on the couch in Josh’s room, listening to his breathing knowing nightmares were inevitable after an attack this bad. 

Josh had started awake twice in the night and both times Donna was at his side immediately holding his hand and calming his hate rate until he fell back.


	2. Hold on to whatever you can until it's gone

It was about 5am when she heard a knock at the door and Donna who was close to falling asleep looked up with a start, her head automatically turning towards where Josh was sleeping hoping it wouldn’t wake him, she had a feeling this is the most he had slept in months. 

Slowly she made her way to the door and opened it to find C.J standing on the other side, her hair mussed and eyes red. “C.J!” Donna exclaimed quietly 

“Donna” C.J opened her arms immediately to Donna and Donna just fell against her, her legs giving out as the taller woman held her close. C.J led her over to the couch, carrying the majority of her weight as the exhaustion finally hit Donna. 

“What are you doing here?” Donna mumbled 

“I nor the Preside were going to leave you or Josh alone right now and quite frankly we wouldn’t have been any semblance of use to the free world if we didn’t know he was ok and saw him ourselves. We couldn’t get the President out without causing a stir but Leo is covering me for as long as I need and luckily Marine one is fast, so here I am.”

“God I am glad to see you” Donna admitted, she knew how to handle this situation, most of the plan had been created by her, but having to actually do it was emotionally exhausting and it was even worse when her and Josh weren’t actually talking.

“How did you end up being here with him?” C.J knew her two friends had hardly talked since Donna had quit and so to hear that Donna was with him had been rather startling. 

“We were both staying here and I knew that obviously. I had a very good game plan to hide from him but he woke me up when the fire alarm went off. I don’t even think he knows he woke me up, I’m on the floor above and I saw him running back downstairs honestly I don’t even know how he knew what room I was in but I worked on getting the rest of my team out. Then I got down to the meeting point but I couldn’t see Josh and I was desperate to see him because I knew this would be too much, that the combination of the fire and sirens would set him off. I also was scared C.J I haven’t seen him in so long and all I could think was maybe he would just reject me so once I found him I just watched him, but then he started looking everywhere frantically like he was looking for something. His campaign team noticed and went to calm him down but they didn’t know what they were doing, they were going to make it worse and I couldn’t stop myself so I ran until I was at his side and I wouldn’t even let them near him. God, I was so rude C.J. But I just had to take control of the situation.” Donna was breathless as she finished talking.

“Donna when was the last time you talked to Josh?” C.J kept her voice was soft hoping her comment didn’t sound like she was accusing Donna of anything

“I guess it must have been 2 months ago maybe 3” 

“But you still love him don’t you?” Donna looked up from the pillow she was playing with in her lap her eyes showing the pain and apprehension behind the question “I’m not asking as Press Secretary or Chief of Staff Donna, I’m asking as your friend”

“I never stopped C.J, I never stopped.” Tears that had been welling in her eyes spilt over and Donna didn’t even try to halt them. 

“Oh, Donna” C.J pulled her back into her arms and let her cry into the nook of her neck. 

“Why are you working for the Russell campaign and not with Josh?” C.J waited until the tears were slowing before starting her next question 

Donna shook her head “I needed to get out of the White House, that's what you told me to do!” Donna shot back “you sat me down and told me I should be doing so many things that I am not and that I needed to leave Josh”

“I was wrong Donna, I’m sorry but I was wrong” Donna stopped suddenly and looked up at C.J 

“You were wrong?” 

“I didn’t know then, that Josh loved you as well. I didn’t want you to get hurt but after the accident in Gaza I watched him, I watched him run after you and I knew without a doubt that man loved you as much as you loved him, then you quit and the Josh I knew he just disappeared and that was heartbreaking and I think it was my fault so I am sorry, I am so sorry” 

“C.J” Donna sighed as the two of them fell into an uneasy quiet, both women wiping at their eyes “It wasn’t your fault C.J” 

“Why the Russell campaign Donna? You had to know that none of us, including Josh, supported Russell”

“He is the party frontrunner that's what was expected of me”

“Donna, you have got to learn that at some point you have to stop doing what’s expected of you and start doing what you want to do, else you are just going to make yourself miserable and that’s not fair”

“So should I quit?” Donna looked through her eyelashes to C.J 

“I can’t tell you what to do Donna, but you are running away and I think you need to stop” 

Donna went to reply but the strangled moan from the bed grabbed her attention instead. Josh was curled around himself gasping for air once again. Donna recognised the nightmare and immediately found herself at his bed rubbing Josh’s shoulder, whispering to Josh that he was ok, that everyone was safe and slowly his breathing returned to normal and his brow relaxed.

C.J couldn’t help watch the entire interaction in awe as Donna calmed him down efficiently and softly. Donna caught site of her look and smiled softly “I had a lot of practice after the shooting”

“Yeah” C.J agreed, a devastated look passing over her face.

“I need to quit” Donna sighed staring at the pillow in her hands. 

C.J reached forward and grabbed Donna’s hands “You need to do what makes you happy Donna”

“I need to quit” Donna reaffirmed a steely look coming into her eyes and C.J knew she had succeeded. “What’s the time?” Donna said suddenly 

“6.15” 

“Will Bailey will be awake now, I don’t think I can return to the campaign. I need to quit” C.J looked stunned and exhausted by Donna’s sudden enthusiasm 

“Is this what you want” C.J was not about to be held responsible for Donna’s sudden change 

“Yea, I just needed a kick up the ass to remind me its what I wanted.” 

“Well, then lets go” The grin that covered Donna’s face was almost scary but Donna knew that there was no way she would be disappointed with her decision, the thought of returning to the campaign was just too hard, she had no friends where she was now and although Donna hated to admit it, she was lonely working for Russell, she missed the assistants in the White House, collapsing in the mess after a long day turned early morning, she missed running around after Josh, after Toby, after C.J and after The President. She worked with some of the best and the kindest people she had ever met when she was at the White House and even though she had needed to leave, she certainly missed working with friends. 

“Can you come with me?” Donna asked C.J her youth filling her voice as she looked up through her lashes 

“Of course, I think we might also have to talk to Matt Santos once this is done, do you think Josh will be okay on his own” 

Donna looked over to the sleeping figure, his soft snores indicated he was still deeply asleep 

“Yeah I think we should be ok”

Donna led C.J up the stairs to the floor the Russell campaign was on and to Will Bailey’s room. She rose her hand to knock before hesitated, chewing her lip between her teeth she threw a look at C.J. C.J ran her hand down Donna’s arm and nodded reassuringly and that was all Donna need to knock on the door. 

Will Bailey opened the door almost immediately, smiling at Donna before turning his confused look on C.J “C.J is there anything I can do for you? Does the President need us back?”

“Sorry to disappoint Will, I’m here as a friend” 

“I needed to talk to you” Donna cut in, knowing C.J had left the conversation open for her “I’m really sorry Will and I don’t mean to leave you like this, but I quit, effective immediately”

Will sighed but didn’t look surprised at Donna’s declaration “Donna, when I hired you I knew we only had a limited time with you. You are too indispensable to too many people. I just knew I had to take advantage of you while we had you, are you going to the Santo campaign?” 

Donna looked honoured at the praise Will had just given her but also uncertain about his final question. “I don’t know, maybe it’s where I need to be but right now I know I need to be doing something else” 

“Ok” Will looked disappointed but unsurprised about the term of events “well then, Donnatella Moss, thank you for your service to the Russell campaign. We have all benefited from your work” 

“Thank you, Will, you have been a really good friend” Will wrapped Donna up in a big hug and Donna sighed, the weight of leaving the Russell campaign leaving her shoulders and as she stood up she stood a little stronger and a little more determined 

Donna stepped back out of the room and C.J thanked Will as well before closing the door behind the two of them. C.J paused for a moment studying Donna before placing a hand on her should “You did the right thing in there Donna, you should be proud of yourself. I am.” Donna smiled and wrapped C.J up in her own hug. As they stepped apart C.J looked at her watch “Let’s go see Santos before Josh wakes up”

Donna hesitated “You know Josh is going to be annoyed if he finds we did something behind his back”

C.J nodded her agreement “But I have my orders from the President when I leave here today Josh is coming with me and preferably so will you.” 

Donna still looked uncertain but nodded her agreement, and the pair went back down to the room next to Josh’s where she assumed Santos would be in. C.J knocked on the door this time and Santos appeared bleary-eyed at the door “Congressman” C.J began warmly as she fell into her political persona again “We are sorry to wake you up so early “

Santos looked startled to see the Chief of Staff at his door at 6:30 in the morning “Ms Cregg, Ms Moss, am I correct in assuming this is about Josh”

C.J appreciated his blunt manner and got to the point herself “Yes, I know you were with him last night. We thought you might like to talk about what happened, that’s why I brought Donna along. I also have a message from the President”

“What exactly happened to Josh last night” Santos had obviously been thinking about this since last night and wanted to get some answers for his Campaign Managers behaviour. 

C.J looked towards Donna, letting her take the lead “4 years ago, Josh was diagnosed with PTSD after the events that occurred at Rosslyn in which he was shot” Donna looked away suddenly blinking at the tears that threatened to rise and C.J placed her hand re-assuringly on Donna’s back “Josh worked hard to get it under control however he often has a strong reaction to sirens and music, last night that would have been bad enough with the alarm and the sirens however it will have been worse by the fact it was a fire”

“What is it with a fire?” Matt looked concerned 

Donna was uncertain if she could say but the look of concern on the Congressman’s face convinced her that Santos wouldn’t use this against Josh. 

“When Josh was 9 his older sister was babysitting him and there was a fire, he got out but she didn’t make it and Josh has held onto that feeling ever since then and so the fire, well that was enough to set him off”

“That’s why you looked so concerned when he asked for Joan”

“Joanie, yeah that was his sister”

“I didn’t know any of this” the Congressman looked devastated 

“He doesn’t tell many people about his sister, let alone the PTSD” 

“I watched the President, his senior advisor and Chief of Staff all answer the phone for this, obviously a number of people did know” Santos’s voice betrayed his frustration at the situation 

C.J decided she should probably calm the Congressman down before he yelled at Donna “We were all there when it first happened Congressman, he truly wouldn’t let other people know if he could avoid it. You should just be glad Donna was there, you couldn’t have had a better person to help him” 

Donna blushed at the praise while Santos studied her “Donna, who exactly are you to Josh?” 

“Nothing” Donna spluttered at first before taking a breathe “I was his assistant through the first campaign and then through our time at the White House. I left the White House just before he did but while we were together we were close, more friends than colleagues I guess”

“but you left for the Russell campaign?” Santos was obviously confused why Donna hadn’t come with Josh “why did you not stay with him”

“I am sorry but that is private between me and Josh” Santos showed his dismayed acceptance at not knowing the full story

“Well I’m sorry about whatever happened but you should know you are the only person Josh even let near him last night, evidently there was a strong bond between you to, I’m glad Josh has someone like you.” Santos paused before looking at C.J confused “Ms Cregg, were you not in Washington last night?”

“I was, but both me and the President wanted to see Josh for ourselves, the President couldn’t come so I am here on both of our halves, the President also wanted me to tell you that he wants Josh to come to Washington for a few days and that it wasn’t an order but he wouldn’t take no for an answer”

“Well, I am sure the campaign can work without Josh for a couple of days, especially when he will be better off because of it after, I think he could do with some time with his family. 

“Thank you, Congressman, we must get back to Josh but the President is very thankful for your support and wishes you well for the campaign.”

“Thank you, Ms Cregg, Ms Moss. Josh is very lucky to have you on his side”

Donna and C.J quickly made their way back to Josh’s room and made their way in quietly relieved to see Josh had not yet woken up. 

Both women sat back down on the couch relieved to have got the conversation over and done with. They sat silently, C.J’s hand resting on Donna’s back as Donna curled up against her, Donna’s head on her lap as her eyes started to flutter close with waves of exhaustion hitting her now as the hours of being awake continue to make themselves known. 

Donna must have dozed off at some point and was suddenly startled awake by Josh’s alarm going off at 8:30 “Hey sleepy head” C.J teased gently, looking up from her phone 

“I’m sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep at some point”

“It’s ok, I think you probably needed the sleep just as much as Sleeping Beauty over there” Donna turned to smile at Josh who didn’t even seem to notice the beeping beside him “He is really bad at waking up, that much is certain” 

Donna unfurled herself from the couch and went over to Josh, shaking him awake gently 

“Mmmph” he moaned turning away from Donna 

“Josh it’s time to get up” Donna was soft but firm in her voice, not that Josh seemed to care 

“Joshua, wake up” C.J called plainly from beside the coffee machine 

“Hmmp” Josh moaned again but this time opening his eyes 

“Good Morning” Donna smiled 

“Donna?” Josh looked confused at her presence in his hotel room, 

“Hey, do you remember what happened last night”

Josh furrowed his brow thinking through the events “I went to bed and then, there was a fire?” Josh looked up at Donna the familiar panic returning to his eyes “is everyone safe? the Congressman?”

“Yes Josh, you got everyone out, but you had a fairly bad attack afterwards” 

“I remember some of that as well, the Congressman saw didn’t he”

“He did but he doesn’t hold it against you, I promise”

“Do you think C.J would mind if I gave her a call this morning?” Donna smirked 

“I don’t think you need to call her” Josh looked confused as C.J stuck her head into the room 

“Good Morning Mi Amor” 

“Claudia Jean, am I still asleep or are you standing in my hotel room?”

“I’m here, I flew in this morning” 

Josh grinned as he got out of bed and let C.J wrap him in a hug “why are you here?” 

“After last night I wanted to see you, the President agreed, I took Marine 1” C.J stated plainly, not playing up the worry that consumed her after Donna rang her.

Both Josh and C.J were holding tears back as C.J squeezed Josh one last time 

“Josh, me and C.J talked to Santos this morning”

Josh looked startled and vaguely annoyed that Donna had talked to his boss without him 

“We told him you would be taking the next few days off and returning to Washington with C.J,” Donna said bluntly knowing that Josh didn’t need it sugar coated for him. 

“You told him what?” Josh turned towards Donna 

“You are taking the next few days off Josh, this is non-negotiable” Donna replied 

“I don’t need a few days off Donna, I’m fine” Josh’s eyes remained steadfast on the wall behind Donna, not looking her in the eye. Josh knew he couldn’t lie to Donna and maintain eye contact with her. 

“Yeah” Donna scoffed “just fine”

“Why do you even care Donna?” Josh’s voice began to rise as C.J looked back and forward between the two, knowing they needed to get this off their chests but also knowing it was going to get dirty before it got better. 

“Why do I care?, Why do I care?” Donna repeated stunned “I care because you are still my friend Josh, for the love of God I didn’t stop caring about you when I left the White House”

“No you stopped caring before that now you can’t even handle me having a panic attack you had to call in C.J, how weak is that Donna?”

“Josh for the love of God I had just been blown up, I had nearly died, do you think I was ok after Gaza? That’s why I had to leave” 

“You were walking again, you were fine” Josh defended still refusing to look at Donna

“I was in continuous pain, that is not the definition of fine Josh, I needed to recover, I needed to sit for more than five minutes, I needed to not be running after people, I needed to stop Josh” Donna was crying now not even trying to hide her tears 

“You could have done that from the White House, you didn’t have to leave” 

“God, Josh just listen to me ok, I wasn’t happy at the White House any more, that isn’t because of you, it was because I wasn’t happy. I talked to Sam and he agreed, I needed to get out of there”

“Oh, so you could talk to my best friend about leaving me-the White House” Josh hastily corrected himself “but you couldn’t talk to me? So what happens now Donna, you watched me have another panic attack you going to run back to the Russell campaign, happy that you have done your best and then start running attack ads, oh I’m sure you could come up with some good ones, you know so much Donna you could bring this campaign down, is that what you going to do, bring me down?”

“For the love of God Josh, first of all, I quit the Russell campaign and secondly do you really think I would do that? I was fine when Santos accused me of getting information for the other team but you Josh, I don’t play dirty not like you do” Josh looked stunned at her words, both that she quit and that he played dirty politics 

“Oh, so you quit, well done you what would you like? A medal? For being such a moral person? Finally realising that Bob Russell is useless?”

“I just wanted to be happy and C.J helped me realise I wasn’t happy” 

“Speaking of C.J, were you so scared of facing me that you had to bring in a friend to back you up, don’t you think she is a little busy to be catering to all of your whims these days” 

“Joshua stop it” C.J finally spoke up her voice firm as she stepped between him and Donna “she didn’t call me, the President sent me, the President is also the guy who wanted you to take a couple of days off, she was just following orders in going and talking to Santos. Also look at the woman Josh, don’t think I didn’t notice you haven’t even looked at her since you started a yelling, stop thinking about Donna leaving you and remember the wonderful woman who ran around last night because she was so worried about you, she hasn’t slept more than an hour this entire time because she cares about you, so get your head out of your ass and look at her” 

Donna turned her head towards the ground hiding her face from Josh as she continued to cry at C.J’s words and finally Josh turned his eyes to her, taking in the baggy clothes hanging off her body, her pale face and the bags under her eyes and most importantly the tear tracks under her eyes “oh Donna” he sighed “I’m sorry, I’m angry and scared and I had no right to take it out on you” Donna still looked down at the ground and Josh took one more step towards her tilting her chin with his finger until her eyes were looking at him and then wrapped Donna up in a massive hug “I’m so sorry Donna, I’m so sorry” Donna froze still before slowly wrapping her arms around Josh and gripping him tight. She went to speak only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. As they disentangled themselves C.J opened the door 

“Congressman” C.J was quick to hide the shock in her voice 

“Is Josh here?”

“Hi Congressman,” Josh mumbled shuffling around Donna and staring steadfastly at the ground 

“Josh, I just wanted to say that I am not expecting to see you back on the campaign for at least a couple of days, we can cope without you and I don’t want to be the reason you disobey a direct order from the President” 

Josh finally looked up “are you sure sir?” He didn’t want any pity from his boss, especially not after what he saw last night. 

“Yes Josh I am” Santos rested his hand on Josh’s shoulder, “I also need to apologise, last night I saw a real family come around you, but it wasn’t me or the campaign team, Donna, C.J, Leo, the President, the other guy on the phone all had so much admiration for you and it made me realise that we have been taking advantage of you here Josh, we just did what was the bare minimum and we should have all been a better family, and not just for you but for the whole team. That’s what made Bartlet’s campaign so strong and it is my job to bring it to mine. So take a few days and come back ready to lead, we are going to win this campaign” 

Josh looked honoured at the words and nodded determinedly “Thank you, Sir,” Josh smiled 

Santos turned to leave before pausing and facing Donna “Ms Moss, if you ever want to come work for me I would be honoured” Donna was stunned and just stared at the Congressman. Santos chuckled at her expression “well let me know” 

“Ms Cregg, thank for your support as well” 

As Santos closes the door Josh turns hopefully towards C.J “did you say you made coffee, this one never makes me coffee” Josh motions to Donna with his head following C.J, leaving Donna still standing in the lounge grinning softly at the turn for the better the world seems to have taken and the solid feeling of happiness settling inside her that let her know everything was turning out correct.


	3. Felt like you were home

It was dark by the time Josh, C.J and Donna landed back in Washington, C.J’s chauffeured car waiting for them. “I am going to get them to take you guys home before I head into the office” 

“You still have to go into the office” Donna looked dismayed at C.J’s resigned nod 

“It’s only 7, still plenty of time for the world to end” C.J’s unimpressed expression gave Donna the idea that C.J may very well be stopping a war before the night was over and that was just normal for the new Chief of Staff. “But let’s get you home first, you are going to be summoned by the President in the morning, he will be unhappy I got to spend the whole day with you and he hasn’t seen you yet” C.J twisted her face into a bemused grin and Donna grinned back as they got into the car with C.J sitting in the front, flicking through the briefing books that Margaret had sent with the car and Donna and Josh sitting the back. 

Josh had begun to bounce back to his regular self on the way trip back to Washington, cracking jokes and advising C.J on some policy initiative but now that they had landed Josh had gone quiet again and out of the corner of her eye Donna could see Josh kept looking over at her. 

Josh couldn’t stop looking at the woman beside him, she had pulled out some files she had in her bag and was flicking through them as they drove. Josh wanted her to stay with him tonight more than anything, she had stopped all of his nightmares last night and he has slept better than he had in months 

“Hey Donna,” Josh softly broke the silence “Can you-“ he stopped himself before continuing his thought. Donna didn’t want to spend the night with him, why would she? He had pushed her away it wasn’t her job to look after him any more. 

Donna watched Josh’s thought process as he interrupted his own question, suddenly everything fell into place for Donna as she thought about Josh’s behaviour since they got into the car, the strange looks, the silence, the broken question. Donna knew he couldn’t bear to spend the night on his own and was equally unwilling to ask Donna to stay the night “C.J, can you please drop me and Josh both back to his apartment” 

C.J catches Donna’s gaze in the rearview mirror and nods before repeating the instruction to her driver. 

“You don’t-“ Josh couldn’t even bring himself to tell Donna not to come over, he needed her and she knew it and he couldn’t fight her now. 

“Yeah I do Josh, and it’s ok, I want to” Donna laid her hand over Josh’s and left it there for the rest of the trip both of them ignoring C.J’s glances. 

Eventually C.J’s car reached Josh’s apartment and Donna wrapped C.J up in a hug, Donna murmuring her thanks and felt C.J’s arms tighten before moving on to Josh and hugging him in the same way “Mi Amor, you have been given a second chance with this woman, please and I mean please don’t push her away again, you said some nasty things this morning and you need to remember she never wanted to leave you.” Josh could only nod into C.J’s neck both of them ignoring the way a few tears fell against C.J. 

Donna was unlocking the door to Josh’s apartment having walked away from the pair to give them privacy “I’ll have a car pick you up at 9 tomorrow” C.J called up to them “I would have picked you up when I start but I didn’t think you wanted my 5 am start time” C.J smirked at the pair as both Donna and Josh make a face.

“See ya C.J” Donna called as she placed her hand on the small of Josh’s back and ushered him into the hallway. It took a minute before Josh turned to Donna

“Do you still have a key to my apartment?” He turned accusingly to Donna but she could see the humour in his eyes 

“Yes” she drew out the word daring him to question her on it 

“Are you planning on robbing me?” Josh snarked back 

“Yes, I look forward to stealing all the food you don’t have and then stealing all the clothes you left all over the floor, seriously Josh did you forget how to do your laundry?” Donna looked around the room at the terrible state Josh had left it in before turning her bright grin back to Josh who was momentarily taken back by the megawatt grin before grinning back at her.

“I have absolutely no food by the way so the options are Thai or Chinese” Josh looked in the cupboards 

“It’s your choice but Chinese please with those-“

“Dumplings you like, I remember” Josh smiled 

“and don’t forget that curry that we can split” Donna had already begun pottering around Josh’s apartment tidying it to at least some level of decency which left Josh to organise dinner. 

Once Josh had ordered dinner he turned back to Donna who had almost transformed the lounge in the time he had been on the phone “It’s gonna be about 10 minutes” 

“I bet they were happy to hear from you, I imagine they lost half their income when you went on the trail!” Donna laughed making Josh smile before he sobered and looked at Donna. 

“Donna, I - “

“You don’t need to say anything Josh” Donna smiled softly resting a hand on his cheek before moving it down to his bicep

“Yes, I do, Thank you so much for being there yesterday, you didn’t need to do that and I am so grateful that you did” 

“Josh, when I left I didn’t do it right, I should have talked to you, I should have let you know it wasn’t your fault and I wasn’t leaving you, but I didn’t and I’m sorry. I want you to know that the second I heard those alarms were going off I needed to know you were ok” Donna paused wiping at her eyes “Josh you are my best friend, you are the person who knows me better than anything and who I know better than anyone. You are my person and I had to go months without you and I don’t want that to ever happen again” 

Josh was left stunned at Donna’s monologue and just gapped at her causing Donna’s upset but determined face to crumble in shame and devastation “I’m sorry Josh, I- I shouldn’t have said that I-I didn’t mean to- I’m going to leave now” Donna stumbled out, trying to leave the situation as quickly as possible and it was only when Donna’s hand left his arm that Josh jumped back into action 

“Donna, no don’t leave, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just, you’re my person as well” Josh took another step towards Donna, gauging her reaction and seeing if she stepped back as Josh came closer. When Donna stayed where she was Josh closed the gap pulling her against him wrapping his arms around her. They held each other like that just letting the other know they were safe and they were together and everything was ok. Donna pulled back from Josh slowly as he brought his hand to Donna’s cheek and then the atmosphere changed as Donna stepped towards him until there was no space and gazed up at him, her eyes flicking down to Josh’s lips and then back up to Josh only to be interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

The pair blushed simultaneously before Josh pulled his hands away and turned to open the door. By the time he had paid for the Chinese and thanked the delivery man Donna had moved from her spot and was staring steadfast at a point on the floor. “Donna?” Josh coaxed until Donna looked up “let’s eat dinner and maybe watch a movie” Josh moved past the moment that they had had and get them both back onto safe ground much to Donna’s relief. 

“Can we watch Red Eye?” Donna looked up hopeful and Josh was weak instantly, he knew he couldn’t fight that look and right now he would do anything for Donna. 

“Fine” Josh pretended to concede. 

“It’s a great movie Josh” Donna advocated quickly

“No quite frankly it is terrifying”

“Well, I will hold you if you get scared” Josh just scoffed in response as the two settled in to watch the movie.

However if you had to ask Donna later if she lay against Josh first or if Josh wrapped an arm around her first she couldn’t tell you, all she could tell you is suddenly it was dark and the movie had looped back to its play screen as Donna became aware that she was curled into Josh’s shoulder and was rising and falling with his tiny snores breaking the silence. 

“Josh” Donna whispered pulling herself away from his warmth trying to ignore the pang she felt at the loss of contact “Josh” she tried again, louder this time.

“Yeah” Josh mumbled without opening his eyes 

“Go to bed Josh it’s late and your back will kill you if you stay asleep like that” Josh looking around blinking as he took in the lounge 

“What are you going to do” sleep clouded Josh’s voice 

“I’ll sleep on the couch but you have to move” Donna complained as wrapped her hand around Josh’s bicep and pulled him towards standing, she placed one hand on his lower back as she guided him towards his bed, Donna couldn’t tell you if Josh was even awake but he wasn’t complaining so Donna didn’t mind. 

She was just about to leave his room when he spoke up again “Stay” Donna softened at the pain in Josh’s voice 

“I am Josh, I am just going to be on the couch”

“Stay here, please” Donna knew Josh wasn’t in the best headspace and was probably scared to sleep, every part of her was screaming for her not to fall asleep here but one look at his face and Donna knew she couldn’t resist

“Ok, just for tonight” Donna smiled before getting into the other side of the bed and turning to face Josh “it’s ok, you can go to sleep now”. Josh smiled at Donna before letting his eyes fall shut again.

Donna just lay there watching Josh for as long as she could, because maybe this could work once again, they had been on the brink of losing each other forever but maybe they had gotten lucky and she was got back her best friend, the man that, despite her best attempts to ignore her feelings, she knew she loved.


	4. We're a hazy memory with all the colours of a dream

The next day found the pair looking up at the building they used to know so well “It’s weird right?” Donna turned to Josh 

“It’s like going back home after moving out, there is still a space for us but” 

“Our room has been turned into a gym” Donna finished for Josh

“Yeah” Josh agreed wistfully before placing a hand again Donna’s back and ushering the two of them through the gates, nodding at the guards who let them through 

“Josh, Donna, Good to have you back” Neil the foyers security guard greeted the two as they signed in and grabbed their visitor passes 

“Good to be back Neil” Donna grinned at him as they walked past and found themselves in the middle of the hustle of the West Wing 

“DONNA” Donna only had a few seconds of warning from someone yelling her name before she found herself being slammed into by another body 

“Carol!” Donna exclaimed breathlessly as she realised who was hugging her and tightened her arms around her close friend “I’ve missed you so much” Donna murmured into Carol’s neck before letting her go from the embrace

“Josh” Carol smiled softly before breaking into a grin when Josh laid a hand on her shoulder, not going quite as far as hugging her but the affection wasn’t hidden from his eyes 

“Carol, it’s good to see you are still keeping everything in order around here” 

“Well without the lovely Donna someone has to keep everyone doing their jobs around here” Carol laughed placing her arm around Donna’s shoulder as they walked towards the West Wing. 

Walking into the West Wing the bullpen suddenly fell silent as everyone turned to look at the newcomers “Hi” Josh stated awkwardly and Donna waved beside him 

“Good to have you back” someone called from the back and that was enough to break the silence of the room and soon it was filled with greetings and well wishes. 

Don’t you all have jobs to do?” Josh eventually cut in but not before looking around and smiling at the familiar scene. 

“Sorry Josh” the collective murmur came from the crowd but that didn’t dim any of the smiles in the room

“Josh” came a muttered grumble from the other side of the office 

“Toby” Josh’s grin grew to mammoth proportions at the other man, a fact which Donna was planning on using against Josh at the next possible convenience “how are you?” Josh strode over to his old friend clasping a hand onto his shoulder 

“Still running a madhouse” Toby looked around at the still unproductive room “Josh might not be able to fire any of you but don’t think I won’t” That was enough to turn everyone back to their work “Donna” Toby almost smiled as he looked at the blonde “you look wonderful.”

Donna blushed under the rare praise “Toby, It’s good to see you” Donna was surprised when Toby pulled her into a hug but quickly embraced him back, her confusion turning to understanding as Toby quickly whispered in her ear that he knew what had gone down to bring the two back to the White House. 

“So she gets a hug and I don’t?” Josh complained as the two moved apart 

“Yeah I like her more” Toby deadpanned causing Donna to smirk at Josh “Come on let’s go into my office” 

Donna thought it would be prudent to let Josh and Toby have some time to catch up and instead decided to go find Bonnie and Ginger, wrapping an arm around Josh she leaned in close in a half squeeze “I’m going to go find the girls, I’ll be back in an hour ok?” Donna checked with Josh before leaving him alone knowing that Josh was still very emotionally drained after the last few days

Josh turned to her gratefully squeezing her hand “I’ll see you later” 

Toby quirked his mouth at the two in front of him but knew better than to bring anything up, they needed to move at their own pace. 

The men moved into Toby’s office and with one last glance at Josh Donna moved off to go find her friends. 

With some assistance from Carol and some security guards, Donna found Bonnie and Ginger in a filing room in the basement who while they looked like they were doing their job seemed to use the opportunity to gossip about whatever social life they somehow found time to have. 

“Knock knock” Donna interrupts the conversation between the two and startling both women. 

“Donna? What are you doing here!?” Bonnie exclaimed running forward throwing her arms around her, Ginger following close behind 

“I’m just here for a couple of days visiting” 

“What brings you back?” Donna hesitated her eyes flickering away from the two women, suddenly finding the carpet far more interesting. Donna’s sudden hesitation was enough to grab the attention of the other two who exchanged a look with each other before simultaneously folding their arms and turning on Donna “What brings you back?” 

“If I say C.J and leave it at that will you believe me?” Donna tried 

“No, talk” Ginger led Donna to a stack of boxes and sat her down on them

“Well,” Donna pauses trying to work out how much she can say “What do you remember about the Christmas after Rosslyn?” 

“When Josh was diagnosed with PTSD?” The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed as the girls remember how horrible that time was for everyone in the West Wing, watching Josh spiral without being able to help him, but nobody had suffered as much as Donna during that time. They both knew the things that Josh had said to Donna as he tried to push her away had almost broken Donna, the other assistants being the only two Donna had confided in as she had blinked through her tears and tried to strengthen herself to go back to work.

“Yeah, he had an episode when we were both staying at the same hotel on the campaign”

“You guys haven’t talked in months” Bonnie was disbelieving

“I know, but his team didn’t know what was going on so I stepped in to help and I followed the plan”

“Call the White House, Call Sam” Bonnie cuts her off, knowing the plan herself 

“Exactly after that, the President basically ordered us back here for a couple of days off, so I am back.” Donna finally looks back up at the girls. 

“And how exactly have you guys been?” Ginger asked 

“We fought, we hugged, we cried. But something is different now, the dynamic between us has completely changed”

“In what way?” Bonnie looked excited 

“Like there is a sea of distance between us and yet like we have never been closer, it sucks.” Donna sighed. “We were so close before but now, we have spent so long apart and who we are as people have changed. The dynamic we used to have is gone but after everything Josh went through that night because it was bad, it was really bad and Josh was so alone, both of us now have a new appreciation of what we mean to each other.” 

“Do you think something might finally happen” Bonnie’s voice was kind, knowing that this thought was not a new one for Donna 

“I don’t know, we don’t work together anymore” Donna paused before looking up at the girls, mischief in her eyes “I quit the Russell campaign”

“Seriously?!” came the joint exclamation 

“Yep”, the morning after it all happened, C.J came and visited us and talked some sense into me and told me to stop doing what was expected and then there I was face to face with Will Bailey quitting.”

“Ok, so what is it like working for Will Bailey?” and with that Donna had managed to move the conversation away from her and Josh. 

The girls remained together, catching up and gossiping as Bonnie and Ginger went through their tasks with Donna pitching in where she could, the old routine returning quickly, until finally Josh and Toby emerged from the office both looking a lot more comfortable than when they went in and while Josh’s smile just as bold his eyes held a deep relief she knew hadn’t been there when they went in. 

“Donnatella, are you working?” Josh strode over to her “Bonnie, Ginger you know she left right? This isn’t her job” the two women look slightly ashamed that they hadn’t minded the extra pair of hands

“Josh, calm down I wanted to help while I waited it’s fine.” Donna lay her hand against Josh’s arm feeling him relax under her touch 

“Fine” Josh pouted “Ginger, Bonnie it is good to see you again,”

“Good to see you as well Josh, see ya later Donna we should actually go do our jobs at some point”

“I agree” Toby commented drily from the doorway and with that, the two women scurried off to their respective desks 

“Toby are you coming with us to see C.J” Donna leaned around Josh to see Toby 

“Not yet, I imagine I will be pulled up to the residence for lunch, however,” Toby looked almost annoyed by the prospect and Donna couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips 

Toby looked affronted by Donna’s reaction “What a shame, going up to the private residence of the President of the United States for lunch with your friends, what a terrible way to spend your lunch” Josh explained resulting in a huffy Toby returning to his office as both Donna and Josh lost control on their laughter and chuckled on their way towards C.J’s office. 

“Hey Margaret” Donna greeted the redhead almost shyly, as good of a friend as Margaret was Donna always felt inferior to the older woman who ran the White House so well. 

“Donna, my darling It’s good to have you back” Donna’s worries were immediately calmed by Margaret quickly jumping out of her chair and rounding her desk to hug Donna giving her a quick but warm hug before moving on to Josh to give him another hug 

“C.J,” she called over the intercom “Our VIP guests are here” Donna ducked her head at the praise, an action which didn’t go unnoticed by Margaret “It’s true, me and Debbie had to arrange C.J and the Presidents schedules all around to fit in this lunch the President has decided to throw” Donna looked horrified by the idea that the two most important people in America had their schedules changed to fit her and Josh in “But I would do it again in a heartbeat” Margaret quickly assured Donna seeing the look on her face. 

“Send them in Margaret” C.J’s reply finally came through the intercom 

“Donna, Joshua, nice of you to join the party” C.J’s warm smile greats them both as she looks up from her stack of paper

“Hey C.J.” the pair stepped into what used to be Leo’s office returning the smiles.

“Take a seat - the president is meeting with some Senators in the oval at the moment about the 4672 Bill”

“Surveillance?” Donna quickly recalled the bill

“Yeah” C.J paused for a second before looking back at the pair “actually Josh, what would you recommend - the house is hesitating on it because it is going to take funds away from the bill they support on education and they always fight these things on privacy reasons anyway, I think they are just refusing to budge without incentive”

Josh pondered for a minute thinking through the aspects before Donna turned to Josh excitedly,

“Bill 3682” Donna muttered as Josh’s face lit up as he got her meaning

C.J. looked at the pair as she tried to make the same connection

“a Republican roading bill - I got some senators to hold it up in committee I didn’t love the bill because they were chucking some bullshit provisions in there about who was to be employed to fix the roads - it wasn’t a major matter but-“

“You enjoy pissing off Republicans” C.J and Donna finish at the same time turning to each other and laughing

“Yeah basically” Josh couldn’t fight them on that “but why don’t we give them roading if they give us surveillance - it’s not like we lose anything by it” C.J nodded slowly as she thought out the finer details.

“Well, what the hell are we doing in here let’s go talk to the President see if we can cut a deal “ C.J stood suddenly and rounded her desk to the door that leads to the Oval, knocking gently.

“Come in,” came the familiar voice on the other side

“Mr President, I’m sorry to interrupt - I was just mentioning the surveillance bill to Josh and our difficulties with it and it took him all of two minutes to solve what we have spent two days on”

“Josh is here?” The President perks up “Well what are you doing hiding him in your office, you already got to go out and see him, surely its time to share”

C.J sighed a bemused expression gracing her face “Yes, Mr President I was hiding Josh in my office just to torment you” C.J deadpanned “would you like me to bring them in?”

“Yes please C.J” C.J gestured behind her to Josh and Donna who followed her into the oval office “Josh” the President pronounced jovially greeting Josh with a strong handshake and a pat on the back before a murmured “it’s good to have you back, son”. Josh looked up at the president with a quiet smile before Bartlet continued on “So tell me your plan to get us this bill.” Josh lead the President and the senators through his plan step by step the same way he had taken C.J through the plan. Donna remained against the wall, following the old rule that all assistants must be invisible in the Oval. 

“That might work” one senator agreed “We certainly get things done faster when you are here Josh” Josh didn’t bother to hide his sarcastic scoff at the comment as the President sent them away to implement the plan. 

“Thank you, Josh, we were really in a bind with that one” President Bartlet smiled sincerely 

“Well truth be known Sir, it was Donna who did the heavy lifting” 

“Donna’s here?” the President asks surprised before looking around and spotting Donna against the wall. “Donnatella, what are you doing hiding over there?” 

Donna blushed as she made her way over to the President who promptly pulled her into a hug “I was astounded to learn you had quit without letting anyone know Donna, we would have held a party or something”

“Sir, that truly wouldn’t have been necessary”

“Rubbish you were an important part of our team, you were a massive help don’t forget that” The President kept hold of her hand as Donna stepped back “I have been very proud watching you do the circuits however you are a natural spokeswoman, although C.J is taking claim that she taught you everything you know” Donna laughed as she glanced at the beaming C.J 

“Its true C.J is a great teacher and I got to learn in the best place I possibly could have.” Donna grinned 

“Well we are all very proud of you Donna” Josh looked momentarily offended but the President turned to him before he could reply “we are also very proud of you Josh, but Donna is modest” Donna tried poorly to hide her amusement at the President. “So who is coming to lunch C.J?” 

“We have the four of us, the First Lady, Toby, Leo and I thought maybe I could bring Margaret up as well if it was all right with you Sir, she is very excited to have Donna here” 

“Why not invite Ginger, Bonnie and Carol? They are friends of Donna’s are they not?” the second question being directed at Donna who hesitated 

“Well, yes sir very good friends all of them but I am sure they wouldn’t want to impose”

“Nonsense you can’t impose on a lunch with friends and the chefs will have made plenty. So it’s decided then the 10 of us will have lunch. C.J is the surprise ready?” the President took on a mischievous look at C.J who responded in kind 

“Yes, Sir, ready and waiting” Donna couldn’t help glancing at Josh to see if he was any more informed than her, much to her dismay all she was met with was a blank stare and a confused shrug.

“Well Josh why don’t you and I go over to the residence while C.J and Donna collect up the rest of our party and bring them over as well” Donna turned to Josh quickly questioning him silently before smiling softly and nodding, encouraging him. Josh looked for a moment like he wanted to stay with Donna before remembering himself and the distance that was still between them. 

“Of course Mr President” Josh nodded and followed his former boss out the door

C.J waits till the door is shut before turning on Donna “Don’t think I didn’t see that look Donna” Donna refused to respond to C.J and instead kept her head down as they walk through C.J’s office.

Margaret looked quietly excited when she was invited over to the residence. Her hands immediately began fluttering around her face trying to smooth down her hair causing C.J to laugh and grab her hands “it’s a casual lunch with friends, you look fine” Donna marvelled at the new found friendship between the two women as C.J knew exactly what Margaret was thinking “we will go find the others and come back to grab you” Margaret nodded before sitting back down as Donna and C.J move on to their next target.

“Tobus” C.J declared standing in the doorway “come have lunch” Toby grumbled under his breath before looking up at the combined powers of C.J Cregg and Donna Moss with C.J using the effect of her kind smile and soft eyes on Toby and Donna batting her well-known doe eyes and Toby found himself unable to deny the two woman

“fine let’s go but if anyone asks I’m going to say this is why the government is so inefficient and useless because we spend our whole time having lunch dates”

“Come on we have a special surprise for everyone”

“What is it” Donna looked up in surprise - evidently she is not the only one being left out of the lunchtime surprise

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise” C.J snarked to Toby “let’s go” the three left the office and manage to catch Bonnie and Ginger as they walked down the hallway “Bonnie, Ginger”

“Yes C.J” the two moved over quickly

“the President wants you both to join us for lunch over in the residence” 

“Us?” Ginger questioned

“Yes, its a lunch for friends and the Presidents wants you to join” both woman look over at Donna who nods reassuringly

“Well of course then, we would be honoured, do we need to do anything, bring anything “

“Just your lovely selves” C.J grins “come on let’s head over before the President gets bored and does something we don’t approve of” C.J waits until she is a significant distance in front of the group before leaning over to Donna and muttering “if they are that excited to go to the residence they can certainly replace my job of greeting him in the morning” Donna bites back a giggle as the group rounds the corner to C.J’s office. Once they had the whole group they made their way over to the residence to find Josh and the President deep in conversation with the First Lady lounging in the background reading over a report.

“Donna” she exclaimed “it’s lovely to have you back here, how are you” Abbey greets her as if greeting an old friend

“Ma’am” Donna defers “it’s wonderful to be back, thank you so much for inviting us for lunch”

Abbey visibly deflates “Donna, please can this be an Abbey lunch”

“An Abbey lunch?” the President looks up from his conversation with Josh, confusion forming on his face

“A lunch when I don’t have to be the First Lady and I can just be Abbey going out for lunch with some friends, C.J and I try to have one once a month and sometimes she would bring Donna along”

“Were you stealing my staff without my permission darling?” the President comes round to Abbey placing his hands on her hips 

“When have I ever done something with your permission” she counters even as she turns around to face Jed and kisses him

C.J gives them a minute before breaking in “maybe we should give them their surprise now” C.J suggests distracting the President away from his wife and onto his plans 

“Oh yes!” The President looked around in excitement the joy of having a secret evident on his face “C.J, you can do the honours it was your idea” C.J walks over to the door on the other side of the room and knocks on the door. There is a silent pause as everyone waits for what or whoever is on the other side of the door. Suddenly the former deputy communications director walked through the doors a massive grin splitting his face “Sam” Donna was the first to announce her own grin obvious but it was Josh who shot up from his seat striding over to his old friend and tightly wrapping him in a hug burrowing his face into his neck. It was only then that everyone else moved with Ginger gasping and racing forward to engulf Sam in a hug of her own, Bonnie close behind. Toby was reluctantly smiling at his old friend his eyes twinkling with unspoken joy at seeing his former comrade even Margaret who had never been as close with Sam as the rest of the staff was grinning at the excited reunions. Donna managed to catch C.J’s gaze and quickly mouthed thank you before Sam swept her up in a hug over own quietly mentioning how glad he was to see her. 

It was only once the excitement calmed down that Donna notices the look of pure joy radiating off Josh as he stands next to Sam with C.J’s hand pressed against his arm and Toby holding a quick-fire debate. Right there, here and now Donna knew Josh was back with his family and maybe they were going to be alright.

Lunch was an enjoyable event, Donna sat in between Abbey and C.J with Bonnie and Ginger opposite them and Sam Josh and Toby with and Leo and the President at the other end the group found themselves laughing and reminiscing and without restraint for a brief moment in their busy lives.

 

The rest of Josh and Donna’s time in DC passed too quickly with neither party wanting to think about what will happen when they have to return to the real world, instead they spend their days together alternating between catching up with friends and doing fun tourist activities with Sam in DC but the whole time it was always the two of them, in just a few days Josh had gone from seeing Donna once in two months to spend all his time with her and yes it was awkward at times when comments were made about time apart but their days were more filled with laughs and memories and sometimes looks that went on too long and touches that lingered.

It took until the night before Josh was due back on to the campaign before they finally had the inevitable conversation. The duo had met up with the President and the senior staff at the White House for a game of poker which had just enough alcohol available to leave both Josh and Donna giggling as they let themselves into Josh’s apartment. As they settled onto the couch to watch a movie Josh turned to Donna “Donna” he began looking vulnerable “I can’t go back to the Santos campaign on my own, the last week has been the best I have had in months, I missed you so much and getting to spend this time with you had made me realise what’s important to me and I can’t lose you again so please Donna come to Michigan with me tomorrow when I return to the campaign” Donna couldn’t help the tears that sprung to her eyes as Josh’s kind words and she knew she didn’t want to leave Josh either “ok” she whispered quietly before nodding more strongly and grinning at Josh who just stared at her dumbfounded before slowly beginning to grin. The two stared at each for a moment before Josh placed one hand against Donnas cheek and all of a sudden the two crashed together as though drawn in by magnets. Josh was kissing Donna and Donna was kissing Josh and maybe they were both crying but Donna knew at that moment the world was on her side.


	5. Minds so bold and hearts so clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait guys! I found myself with about 7000 university assignments due all at the same time

It was only when they were on the plane to Michigan that the kiss Josh and Donna had shared was brought back up. Donna turned to Josh wrapping her hand around his arm “Josh, that kiss last night, I-we” Donna stuttered as she forced the words out “we can’t do it again, not if I am going back to work for you. I’m sorry but I can’t be the girl that slept her way to the top, maybe we see where the future takes us one day and something might happen but not right now, please understand this isn’t about you and if I could kiss you every day until I die then I will but right now we can’t” Donna turns back to Josh, watches him process the words she had just said, a veil of dismay falling over his face but eventually Josh turned back to her 

“I understand” he begins slowly “but can we still be this?” he gestures to the lack of distance between them “because I really like this and I think I really need it” his honesty startles Donna who brings one hand up to the side of his face smoothing down the wrinkles that have appeared 

“You're still my person” she whispers softly before burrowing her face into his neck missing the way Josh’s face lit up at her words. 

“you’re my person too” Josh whispered barely audible above the sound of the plane taking off but Donna felt the vibrations against her hand and grinned. 

Eventually, the pair pulled apart with Donna opening up a book C.J had loaned her and Josh pulling out the paperwork he had begged the Congressman to send him. It took until about halfway through the flight before a thought struck Donna “Josh” Donna’s voice broke the perfect silence.

“Mhmm” 

“What exactly is my job going to be on the campaign and please don’t say your assistant because I am better than that and you know it. I worked hard to make myself known as something more than just your assistant and I will never be able to show my face back home if I have just gone back to a - ” Josh watched Donna get worked up as she talked not even noticing the way he was grinning at her

“Donna” he interrupted softly “I’m not making you an assistant, in fact I talked it over with Sam and C.J and you are the new Santos campaign coordinator with the White House” Donna interrupted him with a gasp as she covered her mouth “you will report directly to me and the Congressman for the campaign and the official person you will liaise with at the White House is Toby but anybody who fills the position is allowed to use any contacts they have within Washington as long as they are kept a secret from the other campaigns. That includes C.J” Donna’s eyes filled with tears as Josh continued talking “essentially your job will be to learn about any major policy initiatives, or scandals from Washington and then propose to the Congressman and me how we will spin these for our campaign based on the information gathered. 

“It’s perfect” Donna grinned at Josh “Who was doing this before” 

“Me, on both this campaign and the first Bartlet campaign” Donna couldn’t find the words to express her joy at the job and the honour of Josh giving her a job previously being held by himself. Josh blushed suddenly and looked away at the emotion shown by Donna. Donna understood immediately and settled for placing her hand on Josh’s arm and returning to her book, leaving the smile on her face. Josh watched her for a second before returning to the paperwork in front of him. 

Later that day found Donna and Josh approaching the entrance to the campaign centre when Donna felt Josh balk slightly at the entrance, his breathing becoming more shallow. Donna was confused at first before working out his anxiety at the way he had left the campaign, placing one hand on Josh’s back she urged him forward “It’s fine Josh, they won’t treat you any different and if they do you have some very powerful people on your side” Donna grinned as Josh’s eyes found hers. 

As the pair walk over the threshold the din of the working group quietened slightly as they turned to look at Josh. Donna felt him tense beside her but before she had the chance to do anything she hears a woman on the other side of the room yell out “Josh, I need you to come look at these numbers” and Josh relaxed as the tension in the room fell away and Josh was able to quickly fall back into the work routine that they knew. Making his way across the room he quickly located the voice calling out to him, a smaller woman sitting on a table, her hair falling out of ponytail as she looked at the bits of paper spread around her

“Lou” Josh almost smiled as the other woman jumped off the table to greet him 

“Josh, it’s good to have you back, we need to look at how to move the money between the midwest states” 

“Lou, I want you to meet Donna Moss, she is joining the campaign as the new liaison to Washington” 

“Wow, Josh could it be that you are really sharing out one of your jobs, should I check hell next to make sure that it hasn’t frozen over” Donna smiled at the woman’s dry wit. “Nice to see you again Donna, especially under better circumstances than last time”. Donna moved her hand to Josh’s elbow to reassure him as Lou continued “It will be nice to have you on board.”

Donna nodded and smiled at Lou before Josh pulled her away having seen the Congressman in his office 

“Sir, I just wanted to let you know that I am back and I have already briefed Donna on what her new job will be”

“Josh it’s good to have you back” Santos smiled warmly at the pair “Donna I am very glad you decided to join us”

“Thank you Sir” Donna ducked her head before Josh was already pulling her away once again 

“Josh you have to stop pulling me everywhere, you know because I am not a dog” Josh stopped suddenly, turning sheepishly back to Donna 

“Sorry, I guess I am a little excited to have you here” Donna’s heart melted at the soft expression on his face 

“I’m excited as well but now it’s time to do some work”

Josh sighed slightly before straightening back up, “you will be sharing an office with Edie while we are in Michigan. I made sure they had already a computer, a phone and work all ready for you” Donna huffed a laugh 

“You sure know how to treat a lady” 

“Here we go” Josh ignored Donna “Edie this is Donna she is the new Washington Liaison” Josh stayed by her side as she exchanged the pleasantries with her new office mate and then Josh took it upon himself to explain the extensions to her. Donna listened to him for the first 30 seconds before interrupting him. 

“Josh I was an assistant for 7 years remember I think I know how an extension works.” Donna hears Edie bite back a laugh, “I’m fine I promise, you go do your work and I’m going to do mine, I have a new boss to impress.” Josh smiles uncertainty but finally, he backed out of the room. 

Josh popped into her office 6 times during that day, starting by asking her odd questions and queries before finally just coming in to talk about random things that had no relation to the subject. Finally, Donna had enough, turning and looking at Josh as he entered “Joshua, for the love of God. I am fine, the job is fine. Edie is being nice to me, I understand the job. I am enjoying this weather and no I don’t think C.J wants you to send her flowers, now please please, let me do my work. I’m a big girl now. I think I can hold my own. So I am going to ask you once more let me work or I’m calling Margaret who will tell you exactly how stupid you are being” Donna watches a flicker of an emotion she can’t identify flash over Josh’s eyes before he steeled them up and “Okay. Sorry Donna” 

Donna sat back down satisfied as Edie let out a low whistle “Nobody here has ever gotten Josh to shut up that quickly before” 

Donna smiles slightly “Nobody here worked with him for 7 years. I basically wrote the book on Josh” The two quickly get back to their respective work before the guilt over takes Donna. She had been harsh on Josh earlier and as much as she needed to establish herself here she didn’t want to push Josh away. Pushing herself up from her chair Donna strode out of the office, quickly locating Josh on the other side of the office running, his hand playing at the hair on his neck, his breath coming in short gasps a sure sign he was upset and Donna had a sinking suspicion she knew what the problem was. Standing just to the side of Josh and whoever he was talking with she waited until he was alone before resting her hand on his arm, “Josh can I borrow you” Donna kept her voice low. The two quickly located an empty corridor. 

“I’m sorry Donna” Josh blurted out quickly, his eyes darting around the corridor without looking at Donna but his hand still gripped tight on Donna’s am

Donna sighed, she couldn’t help be devastated that she was the one to spend Josh into a tailspin as she tilted her head, “no, it’s not you. I was too harsh in there. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I want to explain myself, I wasn’t sending you, Josh Lyman my friend, away but I was sending away Josh Lyman, campaign manager, away. We need to work on knowing the separation between who we are together in the office and away from it. When we were at the White House we sometimes forget the friend side of us but I think we both can agree something has changed between us and right now the friend side is the most important but in the office we still have to be professional. Hanging around the way you were it makes it look like there is something between us and I don’t want that to be what the people here think of me.” Donna paused briefly before continuing. “We will always be closer than most of the people here, 7 years does that to people and that’s fine but when we are at work we have to stay professional” 

Josh looked startled but calmed by Donna “How about a compromise then, we are professional here but we get at least half an hour to just be us each day.” 

Donna thinks about it for a second “lunch or dinner each day so that I know you have had a proper meal.” 

Josh sighs at Donna’s protective nature before meeting her eyes and smiling cementing the deal between the two of them. 

The rest of the week passed following their new agreement. Donna quickly fell into the routine of working for the Santos campaign. The time in Michigan came to an end, moving them on to the next stop in Ohio. Donna watched Josh go through his familiar procedures as they opened the next office “Donna where’s the-“ Donna already knew he wanted to know where the fire switches were located, his anxiety momentarily taking over

“three, one in the main office pen against the main wall, on in the corridor to the cluster of offices and one near the entrance and there is really no need to yell Josh” Donna flipped through the file on her lap as she answered the question, only looking up when the room fell quiet “Sorry was I not supposed to answer” she trails off softly, looking around at the room staring at her before finishing on Josh who’s eyes showed his gratefulness 

“No it’s fine” Lou shook her head “but he didn’t actually ya know ask a question” Donna blushed and looked down, intently studying the floor “you two are cute” Lou laughed before leading the rest of the staff returned to work. Only once she heard the chatter in the room return to its normal decibel level did Donna look up to find Josh still standing watching her. Donna found herself quickly standing by Josh and quietly finished reciting the rest of the fire evacuation plan to him 

“Thanks Donna” he muttered looking through his lashes at her 

“Anytime” she whispered before returning to her work.

\-- 2 Weeks Later — 

“Donna” Josh came bounding into the bullpen where Donna had been talking with Lou and Edie. He grabbed her arm and spun her around as he bounced on the spot 

“Josh most people wait until the other person finishes their conversation” Donna scolds lightly 

“Can’t wait, guess what” Donna turns back to the other two and apologises quickly 

“What Josh” she sighs 

“You know how you have been bugging me to get a deputy” 

“I think we all have been bugging you but yes go on” 

“I hired someone” Donna was pleasantly surprised but that didn’t explain why he was so excited

“Wonderful” Donna raised her eyebrow “but what is with the giant puppy act?” 

“Close your eyes and I will introduce you”

Donna does what she was told “Why am I closing my eyes to meet this new deputy, do they have a third eye or something?” 

“Well Donnatella if I had a third eye you would be the first to know” Donna’s eyes flew open at the familiar voice 

“Sam!” she exclaimed flying forward into his arms “my man has returned to me” 

“Your man” Josh whines from behind her 

“Shut up” the pair reply in unison spinning round together to look at Josh. 

In an effort to distract from himself Josh turned and faced the rest of his senior staff who were watching the group reunite. “Everyone this is Sam Seaborn, he was the deputy”

“communications director, we know” Edie finishes “you never told me you knew Mr Seaborne” she hisses at Donna who blinked in surprise 

“sure I did I’ve mentioned Sam before” 

“Without a last name, you didn’t mention you knew THE Sam Seaborn and I didn’t know, I can’t believe this. He is a speech writing hero” 

“Thanks” Sam mutters awkwardly from his spot behind Donna who was hiding her giggles with her hand as Josh just looked stunned at the reaction. 

Finally Donna was able to recover from her giggles to introduce her new colleagues to Sam who was greeted with enthusiasm and it was a number of minutes before the staff could tear themselves away from the new deputy. “Would you like to meet the Congressman now?” Sam looked startled and overwhelmed 

“I guess” he muttered following the other two and Donna grinned as she heard him whisper behind her “what have I got myself into?” 

Donna just wrapped an arm around Sam “I’m glad you’re here, the the of us are going to make the best trio.”


	6. Suddenly we wake from this dream that we have made

Weeks went by as the campaign kicked into gear with Josh, Donna, Sam and Lou leading the charge as they sped towards the conventions without a clear leader for the Democrats. Donna found her feet within her new job and using the sources she had made while working under Josh she was able to find out everything that was going to happen in Washington before it could hit the headlines and already had an appropriate spin ready to release. Sam utilised his ability to get Josh to listen to reason and between Josh, Sam and Lou the campaign was hitting their stride in the crucial lead-up and Josh was becoming more and more optimistic about what their chances were going to be. The only thing that would make this better would be in Josh could break just one of his habits. 

“DONNA” Donna hears a familiar voice yell her name down the hall, sighing as she pushes herself up and down the hall to Josh’s office where he was bent over his desk, papers covering every possible surface “DONNA” he shouts again unaware of her presence in the doorway.

“Yes,” she asks calmly raising an eyebrow

“Oh” Josh looks up in surprise “I need you to call Senator Cravey from Mississippi for me” 

“No, but I can ask your assistant to do it. I am assuming you called me down here because you forgot that was no longer my job, like the last 9 times you have called me down here” Donna retorts, the anger at still being treated like an assistant evident in her voice. 

Josh had the good grace to look embarrassed as Donna snapped at him but she was gone before he could even come up with a reply. 

“I hate him” Donna announced throwing herself into Sam’s office, thankful that he was alone in his office

“Hi Donna” Sam doesn’t look up yet and she waits until he pauses and makes eye contact. “And what did Josh do this time” 

“I’m good at my job right Sam?” Donna asks softly her young age coming through in her voice 

“What? Yes Donna, of course,” Sam shook his head confused, “why would you think otherwise” 

“Because Josh still acts like I am here as his assistant and I just thought we have come so far but he still wants me to make his phone calls.” 

Sam growled slightly under his breath at Josh’s behaviour before coming and sitting next to Donna wrapping an arm around her shoulders and letting her drop her head onto his shoulder 

“Josh is just looking for the normalcy that he craves in all of this” he starts “and that is absolutely no excuse for his behaviour so let him know that, let him know that he needs to treat you with the respect you have earned” he paused before turning her to face him “and if he can’t then I sure as hell am going to try more aggressive tactics” 

Sam’s aggressive growl made Donna laugh despite the tears welling in her eyes 

“Thanks Sam” the pair sat in silence for a moment before a gentle knock interrupted the moment.

“Donna” Josh’s soft voice “can we please talk” 

Sam’s hand squeezed her shoulder encouraging Donna to rise. Donna wiped at her cheeks quickly trying to hide her tears but judging by the look on Josh’s face not quick enough “sure” her voice no louder than a whisper, but still she followed him out of the room. 

“Josh you are going to let me talk first” Donna stated as the two walked into Josh’s office closing the door and blinds behind them. Josh just nodded his assent “I worked really hard when I was your assistant to be more than just an average assistant and I loved it, working at the White House working for you, for C.J, for Toby but I worked so hard that I got too good. I knew it, C.J knew it and Josh you knew it. Then I left and Will Bailey saw how good I was and didn’t make me ring Congressmen or write notes. I was a spokeswoman and I got to advise a new leadership and I was in the room. But something was missing, I had given up friends” Donna paused looking up through her tears at Josh “I gave up you” So I jumped at the chance to return to work for you with the promise that I wasn’t an assistant and I love the job I am doing, it’s perfect and I know I am good at it, I checked with Sam and everything. But I don’t get a chance to be fantastic until the rest of the staff see me as the liaison to the White House and not as someone who is being used by you. That doesn’t gain respect.” It was only as Donna finished the last sentence that she realised she was yelling at Josh.

“Donna” Josh raised his hands as he walked closer eventually getting close enough to lay his hands on Donna’s shoulders. Josh could feel Donna shake under his hands and the enormity of how he had treated her hit him. “I am so, so sorry. I hadn’t thought about how me still calling on you might have been seen. It was stupid”

“You made me feel so small” Donna whispered pulling away from his hands. A part of her did want to go to him to let him hold her close but she was still so angry, right now she was feeling all the anger she hid when she was at the White House and then once she returned to work for him Donna had been so desperate to make everything right and protect Josh that she kept pushing it down but never had it gone away. Never had she forgotten the way Josh used to snap at her and explain things to her like she was a small child. 

“Donna I never meant to make you feel-“ Josh to his credit stayed still while he talked, not coming any closer 

“That doesn’t matter” Donna cut in “because you did. Josh, I loved working with you and you are my best friend but -“ Donna paused collecting her thoughts

“I wasn’t always a good boss” Donna nods slowly 

“And you still do it, make me feel small I mean. Less now which is good I guess but, it still hurts” Donna began turning towards the door, “let’s not have lunch tomorrow. I don’t want us to argue and I think I need some time 

“Ok” Donna tried to ignore the pain Josh conveyed in that one word, his voice a whisper as it tried to escape his tight throat. 

“Josh I’m not leaving this time I promise” Donna knew she couldn’t leave without reassuring Josh that he hadn’t ruined their friendship. 

Donna made it as far as Sam’s office before she starting to cry. Shutting the door behind her Donna’s cool composure gave way to sobs startling Sam “Donna, what happened” he quickly got up from his desk to Donna’s side helping her sit down “What did Josh say, do I need to go punch him” Donna regained enough composure to shake her head but continued sobbing. 

Eventually, Sam decided he wasn’t getting anywhere calming Donna down and did what he had always been taught to do when there was a problem, call C.J.

“Hi Sam” C.J’s poised voice came through the phone after Sam 

“C.J I need you to use your womanly ways and calm Donna down, I don’t know how and she is borderline hysterical in my office” 

“Jesus” C.J sighs “What did Josh do” anger bleed into C.J’s voice 

“treated her like absolute shit” Sam spits out “but she doesn’t want me to go talk to him and more importantly I have a sobbing woman on the floor of my office” 

“Ok, first question is she breathing”

Sam studied the woman who was gasping for breath “not particularly” 

“and does she look like a trapped animal” it was only with that question to Sam worked out what was wrong

“God she is having an anxiety attack” 

“Yeah, Donna darling it’s C.J. You are safe in Sam’s office. Can you nod to Sam if you can hear me” Donna’s head jerked slightly 

“Yeah C.J she can” Sam settled onto the floor opposite Donna 

“Donna you are going to breathe in on my count and then out when I say” C.J instructs and after a few false starts C.J had Donna breathing again, her tears subsiding as she realised what had happened 

“Oh God Sam I’m sorry I shouldn’t have imposed and C.J you are too busy for this I am so sorry”

“Nonsense” Sam and C.J chime in unison “You needed a friend, nobody is too busy over being a friend” C.J explained “now are you gonna tell me what happened with Josh”

Donna groaned slightly as she remembered “God it was so stupid he just called to me like I was still his assistant and that seemed to trigger 7 years of pent up anger and I lost it at him and then I just lost it” Donna laughed self-deprecatingly before sobering up as she remembered the way Josh sounded in his office.

“Sam, please can you go see that he is alright because you know what he is like” Sam nodded smiling slightly at the concern her voice still held for Josh and left C.J comforting Donna to go find his friend. 

 

“Hey buddy” Sam opens the door to Josh’s office

“Sam!” Josh’s head darts go as he looks around for something to make himself look busy

“I have Donna in my office” Sam offers gently sitting down on the edge of the sofa

“How is she” Josh looks at Sam with his eyes pleading for information “does she hate me?”

“Josh she was the one that wanted me to come and check on you - she’s upset and anxious and uncertain but she doesn’t hate you that’s for certain”

“So what do I do now?” Josh muttered

“Let her come to you, she won’t come immediately but if you give her the space she needs and treat her with the respect she has more than earned you guys will be fine and you will be even stronger because of it”

“Ok” Josh's voice was strangled as he accepted Sam’s words

“You are going to get back to work then tonight you and me are going to go out for dinner tonight and Donna is going to have some time and we are going to continue being our dream team and we are going to get Santos the nomination” Josh nodded at Sam looking more certain about what was going to happen. 

 

It took 2 weeks and three cities, 2 weeks of dancing around each other with hasty conversations and lunch dates with other friends, of avoiding eye contact and smiles, both of them did their work, they kept moving but both knew they had lost that spark that made them light up the room. Every time they found themselves in each other company excuses were made with tight words and abrupt departures but Josh kept his word and worked diligently to treat Donna with the respect she deserved and the distance she needed. 

It took 2 weeks for Josh to lose hope that Donna was going to be able to forgive him, but Sam was always right. 

“Josh?” Donna’s soft voice reached around Josh’s door

“Hi Donna, What can I help you with?” Josh forced his voice to remain steady and professional as he kept his eyes fixed on whatever paper was in front of him 

“I was just wondering if you wanted to go for lunch with me” Donna couldn’t hide the catch in her voice as she finally took the step towards Josh she had been hiding from for 2 weeks 

Josh’s eyes flew up to look at Donna as he took in her words “Does that mean….” Josh’s voice was quiet trying and failing to avoid getting his hopes up.

Donna nodded, a minuscule action that spoke volumes to Josh 

“Oh thank god” Josh breathed out rising from his desk making his way to stand in front of the blonde, his hand reaching out slightly as if desperate to rest his hand against her but he held himself back willing Donna to be the one to make the first move. Donna took one more step forward before wrapping her arms around Josh, pressing the two against one another as Josh let his head fall into the crook of Donna’s neck. “I’m sorry Donna” Josh knew what he was saying was nowhere near enough to covey his feelings but Josh hoped Donna would know and understand. 

 

Lunchtime took its time coming that day but finally Donna was able to reason leaving for lunch and quickly rounded the corner to the Josh’s office, a soft smile dancing on her lips as she watched him work, or at least pretend to work as Donna could see the way his eyes had glazed over as he looked at the paper in front of him. Finally, Donna took pity on the other man, clearing her throat slightly to catch his attention. It did its job and Josh looked up startled, a grin spilling onto his own face as he saw Donna standing there “Hey” the pair greet each other simultaneously as Josh grabbed his coat and followed her out of the room. 

Josh’s excitement to leave the campaign offices evident in the speed he was walking out of the room. “So where are we going” Josh spun round to watch Donna as he continued to walk backwards 

“Some restaurant someone recommended to- JOSH lookout” Donna interrupted herself as she watched some poor campaign assistant dart out of his way as Josh still walked backwards, almost dropping the large stack of papers she was juggling. “Sorry he’s excited” Donna apologised on his behalf to the nervous woman

“No, I should have been watching where I was going but ah Ms Moss where would you like these papers” 

Donna tried to calm the other woman, calling on her own experiences as a new assistant “Please if you could put them on my desk” Donna smiled placing a hand on her arm “and then I’m sure Ronna will let you take your break, you can tell her I sent you if you want” 

Josh’s own incessant hand on her arm tugging slightly was enough to pull her away from the conversation “Josh, you are like a small child” she scolded lightly turning back to him 

“I’m excited, I’ve missed our lunches” Josh shrugged a little looking down at the ground. 

Donna’s heart tugged at the vulnerability as she lay a hand briefly on his arm “I did too” she agreed without hesitation. 

They were both silent for a moment as they made their way to Josh’s car before Josh made a simple sarcastic comment about some numbers Joey was pulling for them and the pair fell back into their familiar bantering routine continuing on until they had been seated at the restaurant and placed their lunch orders. 

Donna finally stilled the conversation as she sighed slightly and raised her eyes to meet Josh “we do need to talk though Josh, we can’t just fix that fight with a hug and lunch” Josh looked pained slightly at the knowledge of the impending conversation but gestured to Donna to continue talking.

Donna knew what she was going to say, she had practised this speech a number of times since the fight “Josh, I yelled at you for so many reasons. I was angry and I was resentful and more than a little embarrassed but mostly I was scared” Josh looked like he wanted to say something but he stayed quiet, instead letting Donna continue on. “I was angry because I felt betrayed, resentful because it reminded me of something that happened when we were in the White house and embarrassed because every time you called on me I knew people here didn’t see me as anyone important”

Donna paused, letting a tear roll down her cheek. That was the final straw for Josh and he couldn’t help himself from leaning over and gently brushing it away. The pair sat in silence before Josh spoke up “Donna when you said you were scared… were you scared of me?” Donna looked up sharply grabbing his hand 

“No, of course not” Donna began “I was scared for us, not because of you. I was scared because I knew” Donna smiled wryly “back when I was your assistant with a crush, I knew nothing would ever be able to happen while I was your assistant so when I got this position there was this part of me that even though we said nothing would happen was hoping maybe one day. But when you treated me like that I was so scared that we would never get to that point” Donna looked up once again shrugging as she made eye contact.

“I don’t deserve you” was all Josh could whisper as he slid around the bench to sit beside Donna wrapping her close “and we will get to that point Donna because we deserve that much,” Josh mumbled into her hair, feeling Josh nod as she burrowed closer. The two stayed wrapped around each other in silence until the waiter delivering their food interrupted them. 

“Donna, I am very sorry for what I put you through and you didn’t deserve that. I will work so hard to make sure everyone knows how important you are” Josh spoke his apology that had been formulating for weeks, holding Donna’s hand as the two began to eat. 

“Anything else,” Josh asked after they had both enjoyed part of their meal. Donna looked up a familiar glint appearing in her eye 

“Well if you were able to wrangle me 3 extra tickets to the convention I would be eternally grateful” Donna looked hopeful 

“Donna all of your friends have access, who on earth do you need tickets for,” Josh asked through his mouthful of pasta 

Donna ignored his poor manners “well it just so happens that the convention is an hour away from my parents and this is the closest I have been to home in a while so they want to see me, and obviously the only way I am going to be able to see them is if they come to the convention” Donna turned her puppy eyes on him 

“Why do you need three” 

“Mom, my sister Tricia and my best friend” Donna grinned 

“I thought I was your best friend” Josh grumped slightly 

“Oh whatever” Donna rolled her eyes but still grinning widely 

“Fine” Josh finally agreed, “but only if I get some good baby Donna stories out of it” 

“Not a chance” Donna grinned as the two began to laugh, all tension between the two slowly leaving the pair. It wasn’t perfect but it would be


	7. I'm the Queen of Nothing, I'm the King of the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't realised how long this chapter was until I started editing it! But it just felt like the natural length so enjoy!

Chapter seven I'm the queen of nothing I'm the king of the world

“Mom, I will have someone meet you at your hotel and bring you to the convention centre” Donna repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time rolling her eyes at the poor intern delivering papers to her office. Donna grabbed the first of the stack and started making notes in the margins 

“But how come you can’t meet us” her mother badgered

“because you are leaving the hotel at 10 am, by that point in the day I will have been at work for a number of hours” Donna’s voice was struggling to hide her exasperation 

“But why can’t you leave work, surely they won’t miss you for an hour. What do they have you doing there anyway, carrying papers and answering phones” 

Donna pulled the phone away from her as she growled, startling Josh as he walked into the office “Mom” Donna mouthed to him 

“I am going to be advising the Congressman, I can’t just leave them for an hour to drive you over here” Donna argued as Josh reached out for the phone 

“Ms Moss, this is lead congressional campaign manager Josh Lyman, I am very sorry Donna will not be able to meet you at the hotel, as one of my lead advisors I will need her with me throughout the time, in particular as our White House expert,” Josh spoke with the same tone he used on reluctant senators. 

Donna couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but by the time Josh handed her phone back over all her mother had to say was a quiet concession and a quick farewell. 

“If you wanted to be the go between me and my mother the whole time I would not say no” Donna grinned looking up at Josh 

“Surely it can’t be that bad” 

“Worse” Donna’s face portrayed stone as she bit the words out “she wanted me to be the traditional midwestern housewife - live in the same town I was born, marry a man of good standing, 2 and a half kids, the dog and the picket fence. She never could understand why I left Mike when he was on his way to becoming a doctor and god, the fight we had when I decided to join the campaign, she said I was throwing my life away to fetch coffee. We didn’t speak for a year after that” Donna looked resigned 

“You never got me coffee” Josh murmured placing a hand against her cheek “that’s why?” Josh connected the dots in his head as Donna nodded softly “and on the plane, when we returned to the campaign that if you went back to being an assistant you could never show your face back home” 

“Mom never thought I could be anything more than an assistant, still doesn’t think. If I returned home being an assistant she would have been so smug, I couldn’t handle” Donna paused “couldn’t handle going back home”

“Donna, you don’t need to worry. You are here advising a lead democratic candidate, the President of the United States sings your praise, you are best friends with his Chief of Staff and you are one of the kindest, strongest, most admirable people I have ever met. So next week you are going to show your mother all of that”. Josh spoke quietly moving his hand down to grab Donna’s hand as he crouched beside her. “Now let’s get to work so we can win this campaign. Donna smiled shakily at the sweet words, watching Josh walk back out of the room. 

“Let’s do this” Donna whispered.

The next week went by in a blur of cities. Every possible person out to the public, pushing their main agenda. They ran their last major ad buy and Donna had returned to her spokeswoman status as she spent hours a day in front of cameras answering question after question about the campaign. In the few minutes she had between interviews, she was keeping in touch with the White House and advising Josh in frantic phone calls. The two had hardly seen each other as the campaign got closer to the finish date and saw their respective beds even less as all the senior staff ran on too hot coffee and too stale doughnuts, naps were taken in breaks for just long enough to keep them going until the next break. But slowly the final gap between Russell and Santos began to decrease. Santos and, with some convincing from Donna, Josh had given them the night before the convention off, with nothing more that could be done and so night found Josh, Donna, Sam and Lou lounging in Donna’s room, Lou having fit in immediately with the trio and immediately taking them in her stride. Soon one by one they drifted off to their respective rooms leaving only Josh. 

Donna watched Josh as he stood with his back to her, ramrod straight as he played with his hands a sure sign of the anxiety he was feeling about this race. Donna’s heart twisted with worry, the last thing anybody needed now was for Josh to break down and Donna knew she couldn’t bear to see Josh spiral again the pain of the last two times still too fresh “Josh, you have done all you can” Donna murmured as she walked up behind him, placing a soft hand on his back “you have to rest now, we have a long few days ahead of us and I know you are already running on nothing”

“what if he doesn’t win” Josh turned suddenly to look at Donna “I knew he was a dark horse candidate when he started but now, to get so close. I want him to win so badly. I want to make a guy president” Donna saw the fire burn in his eyes even as his hands won’t stop worrying at each other 

“And I believe 100 per cent that we will, all of us because Santos is as real as it gets after Bartlet and the American people know that. But right now sitting in this hotel room the chips are down, yes tomorrow we will have plenty to do and plenty of people to convince but that’s tomorrow and this is today and you have to be at your best so please Josh, sleep” Donna begged looking up at him with bright eyes   
“I can’t sleep” Josh admits “I wake in fits thinking I have forgotten something or I wake thinking I have failed Leo and I can never get back to sleep so I don’t even try” Josh looks away from Donna, red colouring his cheeks 

“Josh being so invested in something is never something to be ashamed of” Donna hesitates, catching her lip gently between her teeth “Come on why don’t you stay with me tonight,”

Josh looks startled “Donna I couldn’t, we can’t” he starts 

“We won’t” she looks back earnestly “I just think a bit of comfort and a full night sleep will do you some good. Just like it did in Washington”

Josh looks conflicted for a moment more before sighing “Comfort” he smiles “I think we can do that”

Donna broke into a wide grin and Josh’s heart filled at seeing the joy appear on her face.

The two quickly went through their evening routines, muttering quietly about all things non-campaign related before both sliding into the cool bed, turning to face each other 

“you nervous about seeing your family?” Josh asks softly, 

“Yeah” Donna answers just as softly “I certainly think it’s going to be an interesting few days’ the pair both give an exhausted chuckle before falling silent

“We should get some sleep” Donna leaned over and turns off the last light illuminating the room. 

Both lay stiffly in the now dark room, staring up at the ceiling. 

Finally, Josh breaks “You know for a situation that's supposed to be comfortable neither of us seems comfortable” Josh whispers hoping that Donna hadn’t fallen asleep while they were quiet 

“Oh thank god” she bursts out “I was hoping you would say something” 

Both Josh and Donna let out a sigh of relief as Donna twisted her body until she was lying diagonally across the bed with her head on Josh’s chest and Josh’s arm curled around her back holding her close against him. It was not the first time they had found themselves in this position, after Rosslyn Donna had found herself often overly intertwined with Josh, often far surprising the assistant/boss boundary but Donna knew holding someone close helped Josh and frankly although Donna wouldn’t admit it, being able to hear his heartbeat under her ear would often calm her from her own nightmares 

“Goodnight Josh” Donna sighed as she got comfortable “Sleep and if you wake up I will be here” Donna’s word trailed off as her breathing evened out and Josh followed suit close behind. 

Both had the best night sleep in months, stirring slowly when Donna’s wake up call came in at 6 am. Donna had to resort to shaking Josh awake before she sat slowly on her bed, stretching out the tight muscles that came from running around all day. Josh was trying to desperately avoid watching the way Donna’s singlet broke away from the band of her pants showing a smooth pale strip of skin. Donna looked over her shoulder “Good morning sleepy head, you should probably head back to your room, the bus to the centre is leaving in half an hour”

“Yeah” Josh agreed absently still watching Donna 

“Josh the convention” Donna prompted 

Josh bit his lip slightly “I know” but Josh still didn’t make any move to get off the bed 

Donna laughed slightly as she leant over to shove him “off you go, I’ll see you in a bit” finally Josh admitted defeat, rising from the bed and headed for the door 

“let’s do this” Josh finished with a final grin back towards Donna “let’s get the nomination” 

Donna quickly got herself ready once Josh had left, knowing that she was going to be on display all day, for senators, TV reporters and delegates and so she chose to wear a dark red dress that she had brought last time she went shopping with C.J and paired it with some shoes that cost far too much for footwear. But by the time she had finished her make up Donna looked and felt like she could take on the world and right now that was what she needed to get her through the next few days. 

Donna met the rest of the team downstairs, all nursing coffee and cell phones waiting for the briefing from Josh and Sam about how the next few days were going to proceed. Sam and Josh were quietly talking off to the side but both waved her over as she appeared 

“Morning” Donna and Sam greeted each other while Josh not so subtly admired Donna’s outfit 

“What’s the plan fellas” Donna pulled Josh’s attention back up to her eyes 

“Well, we are gonna go over everyone’s roles and what to expect as well as what’s expected from them. We are going to go Bartlet style rules of course. We were hoping once we were done you could take all the assistants aside and brief them because you have the best experience being an assistant in these scenarios” Sam explained 

“Are you sure you want me to brief them” Donna worried a little 

“Of course, there is literally no one more experienced than you for the assistants” Josh reassured helping Donna to relax the tension built up in her shoulders 

“Right, listen up everybody” Sam yelled once he had Donna’s acceptance. Sam quickly and efficiently went through the senior staff and their role, then assigned them each a team and covered the do’s and don’ts of a convention “and finally can all of the assistants including Ronna meet with Donna. She is gonna brief you on what it is like for an assistant at a convention” 

Donna was suddenly swarmed with the youngest of the campaign staff with Ronna coming and standing beside her “You all good if I brief them. I don’t want to overstep.” Donna asked hesitantly but was calmed by Ronna’s reassuring wave 

“Ok assistants. The next 48 hours is going to be hard for everybody and it is your job to make it a little easier. People will snap at you, they are stressed and while you don’t deserve it, don’t take it to heart and if it is really bad you talk to Ronna and if Josh is the one snapping come talk to me and I will whip him into shape ok?” She managed to get a small chuckle out of the nervous staff. “Right most of you will have been assigned to a specific senior staff member, they are gonna ask you to do some weird stuff so just remember it is all in order to get a great man the nomination. As a general rule of thumb, you guys are invisible, you stay quiet but stay close. If you find yourself without a job find Ronna as I am sure she will have plenty and finally because the race is so tight we may find ourselves going late into that night at that point you sleep in shifts and make sure the main senior staff always have an assistant with them. By main senior staff I mean Lou, Josh, Sam and Edie”

“And Donna” Ronna interjects with a smile “you are just as much senior staff as them” causing Donna to blush slightly

“Ok that’s it, let’s get through this hell and show the world what the Santos campaign is made of” Donna smiled at them all before dismissing them back to their assigned groups. 

Donna walked into the still quiet convention centre, studying the room and memorising the different areas she was going to need over the next few days “Feels like old times” Josh snuck up behind Donna

“Yeah, it feels so long ago we were doing this for the first time and now look at us, somehow we are now the seasoned pros” 

“Speaking of seasoned pro’s, when are the White House crew getting in” Josh segued between the topics 

“C.J is sending our three favourite assistants over to prep for the President today but they can’t be seen as giving us any preferential assistance so I am not sure how much we will see them and then C.J, Toby, Ed, Larry, Margaret and the President are coming tomorrow, about mid-morning”

“C.J is sending Carol, Ginger and Bonnie ahead?” Josh questioned knowing the three women commonly stayed behind at the White House and most certainly didn’t travel ahead of the crew, but one look at Donna’s guilty eyes answered the question for him “you convinced C.J to send your friends ahead, that has to be a blatant breach of power”, but the laughing tone of his voice was enough to assuage Donna’s guilt. 

“Come on, let’s go find our headquarters and we should probably sit down with Leo and see what the plan was for the next few days.” 

The day went by in a flash with Donna spending the day on the phone to Washington, fighting to get just a few more endorsements from more resistant senators and when she wasn’t fighting through the various politics she found herself working as a coordinator as staff once Josh had done enough to scare most of the staff and so with help from Ronna, Lou and once Carol but that one was kept quiet she made sure all the staff were using the time the most efficiently despite the lack of experience. Donna had managed to find a small amount of time to drag Carol, Bonnie and Ginger aside to hug and quickly gossip between jobs, but that might have been the only time she had a relaxed conversation for the entire day.

Most of the staff were dead on their feet by the time the Congressman and Donna had convinced Josh that they were finished for the night and he finally allowed them the bring the staff back to their base to plan for tomorrow. Josh and Sam tackled the plan as good cop bad cop with Sam praising them and Josh forgetting that they were all trying their best. They were almost finished when Donna remembered a key part of tomorrow. 

“One last thing” Donna quickly interjected “Tomorrow the President and his staff will be here” the volunteers whispered excitedly between themselves at the news that had been kept quiet to avoid idle gossip “and while that is very exciting please remember your protocols when it comes to dealing with important figures. Because Josh and Sam are both prominent members of President Bartlet’s former senior staff and are still very close within that circle there will be a chance that some of his staff or the President will take some time to catch up with this campaign. Do not interrupt a conversation with the President and if he ends up talking to you please don’t let him get sidetracked because lord knows C.J will never get him to where he needs to be once he starts” Both Josh and Sam snickered at Donna’s comment before finally dismissing the team. 

The next day Donna managed to find herself even busier than the first day with the sudden influx of senators and influential Washington Democrats and so Donna had spent most of the early morning at Santos’s side as she briefed him about the people he was going to meet and the deals she had been working with them and so Donna was startled when a young assistant grabbed her attention as she hung up the phone. “Excuse me, Ms Moss, you asked me to come find you at 10?” 

Donna looked at her watch in surprise “Oh yes” Donna shook her head as though she was shaking away extra thoughts “Marissa can you please take a cab to this hotel and pick up my family. You will need to pick up passes which will give them access to the common areas, the Santos areas and areas 4, 6 and 7. Basically what the assistants have. Once you get back here if you could please bring them straight to me that would be wonderful. You will be picking up 3 women, Sylvia Moss, Andrea Moss and Rachel Arva. They should be able to meet you in the foyer” Donna quickly spoke handing over some money”

“Of course Ms Moss” The dutiful assistant nodded even as she hurriedly wrote everything down. “I will be back soon” 

“Thank You Marissa” Donna tried to flash a kind smile even as she had moved on to other tasks.

“Can somebody please tell me when the damn motorcade will get here” Donna heard Josh yell across the room and quickly moved over to him

“20 minutes and I want Santos at the door ready to greet him, we are the only people with exact information about when they are going to get here and it is going to look fantastic that Santos and his senior staff can take the time to greet the President.” Donna quickly briefed Josh who looked as though he was ready to ask a question “already cleared with Toby, he said given I was the only one who thought to ask we get the scoop and C.J assured there would be press waiting for us”

“Donnatella Moss, I could kiss you right now” Josh’s excited phrase was enough to pause the both of them as they both remembered a kiss on a warm night in Washington that had yet to be repeated 

“Yeah” Donna whispered softly her heart skipping a beat before remembering herself “I’ll go talk to the Congressmen and come find you in 10 minutes” 

“Ok,” Josh tried and ultimately failed to keep the emotion out of his voice, however, Donna quickly found herself swept back up by the pull of the convention and didn’t have time to contemplate on the interaction. 

 

Exactly 19 minutes later Donna found herself standing at the side entrance to the centre with Josh on one side and Lou and Sam on the other watching the flashing lights of the motorcade creep down the “I can’t believe you arranged this” Lou broke the silence shaking her head in awe “This is proper cool” 

“Don’t tell me this is your first time” Josh leant around Donna to get a better look at Lou in surprise

“Now tell me, Josh, when would I have met the President of the United States? Buying bagels on a corner store in Washington?” Lou fought back even as she couldn’t keep her eyes off the impending motorcade 

“Ignore him Lou, he forgets the obvious” Donna and Sam laughed as Josh straightened back up, missing the grimace that crossed his face. 

Finally, the motorcade slowed to a stop in front of the steps and the tall graceful figure of the Chief of Staff exited the centre car and smiled at her friends before leaning back down and offering her arm to the smaller but no less imposing presence of the President. The rest of the staff exited the remaining cars as the press started to flash their lights capturing the photos of Santos and the President warmly shaking hands and sharing a quick laugh with one another “We just got New Hampshire” Josh muttered, just loud enough for Donna and Lou to hear who exchanged quick smiles as the President moved on to meet with Josh, greeting him with a firm clasp on the back and a soft couple of words before he moved on to see Donna 

“Donnatella” the President greeted as Donna smiled grasping his hand, “It’s good to see you again, how is the campaign treating you” 

“It’s wonderful sir.” Donna grinned before turning to Lou “Mr President this is the Communications Director for the Santos Campaign, Louise Thornton” 

“Well any friend of Donna and Josh’s holds great standing in my books, it is a pleasure to meet you Louise” The President shook Lou’s hand, his charm shining through as he warmly greeted the star-struck woman. 

“Sam Seaborn” The President exclaimed moving down the line “I heard you had joined this rag-tag team” 

“You heard correctly sir, after my trip to Washington Josh managed to convince me it would be worth coming back to the campaign so here I am”

“Well I am sure the Santos campaign is benefiting from mine and California’s loss” Sam smiled fondly at his comment. 

C.J quickly appeared after that ushering Bartlet the rest of the way inside and the Santos team quickly dispersed back to the jobs they had abandoned in order to meet the President. 

It took Donna’s phone hardly any time to interrupt her once she started 

“Donna Moss” Donna was brisk in her greeting once she saw the number of a particularly difficult Senator pop up on her screen. Within no time she was firmly engaged in a debate with the reluctant senator trying to convince him that Santos was worth the endorsement 

“Josh” she yelled as she caught a glimpse of him out the corner of her eye as she still bustled around directing other people “Please hold on moment” Donna hurriedly spoke on the phone before muting her end of the conversation “I’m on with Senator Ashbrum now and I swear to god he is going to make me sell him my first born before endorsing us - I’m out of options” Donna briefed quickly as they continued to walk through the hectic convention centre 

Josh thought for a moment before turning to her “tell him that if he wants any of the hispanic vote which he desperately needs to win the next election he better endorse Santos yesterday because once he is President Santos will very much control that demographic”

“The race card” Donna raised her eye brows as Josh nodded “I thought we weren’t gonna play”

“Now we are” Josh’s grin was predatory “and there, problem solved who’s da man?” Josh couldn’t help question causing Donna to shake her head even as she couldn’t help the grin playing on her own face

“You are good sir, you are” Donna laughed, enjoying the moment of relaxed banter that the conventions so rarely afforded. 

Donna quickly relayed the message back to the Senator who’s stuttered response of certainty was enough to convince Donna the endorsement was not far away. Josh had wandered off during the conversation but caught Donna’s eye across the room after she hung up and Donna quickly gave him a thumbs up “Who’s the man” Josh yelled across the room trying to goad a response out of Donna once more 

“Go do some work” was all Donna yelled back raising an eyebrow at him to which Josh could only reply with a pout as he spun back to the number of people circulating him 

“Donnatella you really shouldn’t yell across the room like that, it is not becoming of a young lady and I am certain you shouldn’t be yelling at someone of such high standing” came the prim voice from behind her. Donna grimaced slightly before smoothing out her face and spinning around “Mom, it’s lovely to see you” Donna greeted, softly kissing her mother on the cheek “Andrea, Rachel I am so glad you two could come” Donna’s greeting was warmer as she turned to her sister and friend wrapped them each up in a hug. 

“Welcome to my office” Donna grinned gesturing around to the central floor of the conversation “While I obviously will have a lot to do I thought maybe I could show you what I do and maybe if there was anybody you wanted to meet I could introduce you, then I could you a tour?” Donna suggested, trying to be heard over the din of the various delegates on the floor 

“And who do you know to introduce us to” Sylvia sniffed, looking at the crowded room 

“Well the Congressmen from Wisconsin should be here by now, I know you voted for him. Would you like to meet him?” Donna suggested and while her mother looked incredulous she still nodded and accepted the offer. “Marissa,” Donna turned around to find her assistant organising some papers Donna had handed her “Can you go see find Congressmen Kasha from Wisconsin and tell him Donna Moss was wondering if he could spare a minute” Marissa dropped her head in a dutiful nod and scurried off to complete the job. 

“What’s her job” her mother watched the assistant walk off, the sneer evident in her voice 

“She’s my assistant she does all the things an assistant would do, normally she helps with the day to day things I do for the campaign” 

“So what exactly does your job entail?” Rachel saving her from her mother with a kind smile 

“Well, normally I’ll read all the releases for Washington and then talk to Toby Ziegler regarding anything the White House is about to release and combine that with any gossip I have and then brief Santos and or Josh on how we should proceed. I also advise on most major decisions for the campaign” Donna quickly explained before smiling as she walked ahead leaving the group dumbfounded in her wake. 

The morning went by quickly with Donna introducing the group to the higher ranking Washington power players who were at the convention, all of whom knew Donna through her work with Josh and then on the campaigns and were more than happy to take a moment to greet her and shake hands. 

At one point C.J walked past talking rapidly into her phone, despite the focused look in her eyes C.J quickly grinned at Donna as she walked past, prompting Sylvia to gasp slightly “That was the C.J Cregg” she exclaimed almost excitedly, “oh that woman is truly an inspiration she has done so much for the country and that administration. Oh, can you imagine meeting her? Donna did you ever get to meet her” 

Donna laughed slightly not bothering to correct her mother “ah yeah, I met her” Donna made a mental note to make sure she introduced C.J next time they passed each other.

Donna was just wrapping up the morning and was ready to send the 3 women off to lunch when she heard an attention-grabbing cough from behind her “Donna Moss, I heard you had some guests here with you” a familiar voice spoke behind her “I do hope you were planning on introducing them” Donna felt her guests freeze as they recognised who the voice belonged to and Donna quickly spun around to greet the President 

“Sir” Donna gently leant down to place a soft kiss on his cheek as she had seen C.J do many times before, trying to ignore her mothers gasp “This is my mother Sylvia, my sister Andrea and my friend, Rachel they live nearby and decided to come visit” 

The President greeted all three with a firm handshake “It’s nice to meet you all. Donna was an important part of much of my administration and I know she is doing a truly excellent job for the campaign. It is an honour to meet the people she holds in high regard” The President complimented 

“Thank you Sir, although I do hope C.J knows you are down here” Donna pretends to scold “We were all there when you walked off to the kitchen during the state dinner last year, she thought you were going to cause World War 3 before desert” 

“Well that woman has little faith in me” Bartlet complained “I am able to do most things by myself” 

“Yes like ride a bicycle” Donna took a risk in teasing the President about an event that happened so many years before 

“Oh you cheeky woman” Bartlet swiped at her arm playfully

“Yes Josh taught me everything I know,” Donna held the conversation for a few more moments before remembering the C.J probably needed to know where he was “well you should probably go find C.J or she is going to be on blood pressure medication before you leave office,” 

“Yes I suppose you are right But I’ll tell you what, bring your family up to the party tonight. I am sure everyone would love to meet them and beside I might have a surprise for you” the President’s eyes twinkled. 

Donna turned back to the group, “would you like to come have dinner with us tonight” she offered as the three of them just gapped back at her “I’ll take that as a yes then” Donna grinned, 

“Well I’m going to find that Chief of Staff of mine but I will see you up with the team tonight after the speeches and make sure Josh and Sam get brought up as well as that lovely Louise you introduced me to. Bring your family as well- I am sure Abbey will want to meet everyone”

Donna raised her eyebrows, surprised “The First Lady is here? I thought she was flying back from Germany?”

“The plane got in early so she decided she would come in and you know as well as I do that she would throw something at you if you called her that”

“Yes, of course Sir, well we will leave you to get back to your duties and we will see you tonight - should I ring Margaret to make sure the secret service have everyone”

“Yes they obviously will already have you on it but if she could just add your party”

“Of course sir - thank you for coming and saying hi”

“My pleasure, it was nice to meet everyone” Bartlet had a final smile as he met everyone’s eyes

“Thank you, sir” Rachel managed to recover enough to thank the president as he wandered off

“What was that” her mother scolded as soon as they were out of earshot

“What” Donna protested still smug from the chance encounter

“He was telling you off for addressing the First Lady wrong”

Donna couldn’t help scoffing at the comment “no he wasn’t telling me off he just knows Abbey doesn’t like being referred to by her title by her friends”

“You’re not friends with the First Lady” Rachel gasped excitedly 

“Well I am closer with Zoey but I guess you could say I am friends with Abbey” Donna gave a small but confident grin 

“Wow. I can’t believe my childhood best friend is friends with the first family, this is amazing” 

“But how?” Andrea butted in, a familiar jealousy clouding her voice as her younger sister, couldn’t help talk about the first family 

“Well I went through the campaign with them, I saw them all practically every day and Zoey had a small crush on Josh at first so she was hanging around a lot. Besides all of the senior staff were very close with the Bartlets by the end of the campaign and Josh always invited me along so we were all a tight-knit group and that bond really only grew once we made it to the White House.” Donna explained as she walked the group purposely towards where she knew that the White House lot had found themselves, waiting for her family to make the connection. 

“If you were close with the senior staff that would have meant you were close with the likes of Sam Seaborne, Toby Ziegler and Ms Cregg,” her mother asked incredulously “what on earth could they have talked about with you?” Donna couldn’t help the slight flinch at her mother's words 

“Well I don’t know Mother, why don’t you ask them” Donna raised an eyebrow before turning and seeing Toby working away in the corner “Toby” she called out, just loud enough for him to hear her and gestured for him to walk over 

“Donna, did you just summon me?” Toby raised his eyebrows but followed her instructions 

“well I thought you were just looking a little too relaxed over there” 

“Oh ha ha” Toby replied with a sarcastic laugh “The president decided to change the focus of the speech again so I am rewriting once again” 

“And you were surprised by this?” Donna grinned

“No, mostly just exasperated but I’m still relishing in the fact that I don’t work for Josh” Toby jabbed 

“You have a point there,” Donna nodded 

“So do you need me for a reason because I am sure you are certainly busy enough without idle chatter” 

“Oh Toby asking questions like that is why you can’t get a date”

“I can get a date I just choose not to” Toby argued to Donna’s laugh

“I am pretty certain that C.J, Ginger and myself are the only woman you have talked to this month” 

“I’m leaving now” Toby grumbled but there was a lightness in his eyes that had been missing when he walked over 

“No! Toby please meet my mother, my sister and my best friend” Toby held curt greetings with all of them “They are visiting today” 

“Well it is a pleasure to meet all of you, Donna is a saint both for the White House and the campaign, I certainly don’t think Josh could have survived without her.” Toby gave Donna an earnest smile 

“Ms Moss” an aid interrupted holding a phone out for her 

“who is it” Donna sighed 

“Lou, she says its urgent” 

“Ok, I need to take that. Toby could you just” Donna gestured to the group 

“of course, go fix a crisis” 

Donna scurried to a quiet corner as she pressed the phone to her ear listening to Lou’s fast explanation of the new addition of Baker to the ballot as Donna’s mind started to run through various options to help them through this situation. 

Rushing back to her family Donna was quick to make her excuses “I am very sorry but we are going to have to cut this short, we have run into a rather major issue and the Congressman wants me running point on this with Josh. However, if you come back here around 7 I will be about ready to head up the President and the rest of the team then. Toby, just a heads up, by the way, Baker is gunning for a write-in position” Toby’s eyes widened as he took in the words Donna said before muttering his own goodbyes and quickly walking off 

“Is everything ok?” Andrea asked her own eyes wide and confused as she watched the mood in the room change as others got the same phone call, even Donna was starting to make calls as they talked her mind evidently on a new topic. 

“Not really but I’m sure Josh, Sam and I can work it out eventually” Donna nodded resolutely 

“I will see you tonight, please don’t dress up or anything it is just a friendly dinner, you will look out of place” Donna quickly said before sending them off with a loitering assistant and Donna ran in the other direction her mind firing on all cylinders.


	8. There is no escaping the harsh light of day

“Josh, I heard about Baker, what do the numbers say” Donna found Josh in the corridor and quickly matched his pace, one arm resting against his arm as they sped through the hallway, Josh quickly reciting numbers to her about Bakers chances “Are we worried?” Donna bit her lip as she studied Josh, wide eyes filled with worry and an emotion Josh couldn’t quite identify. 

“I think we should be” Josh admitted quietly, saying the words he hadn’t yet said to himself, the bubbling panic that was swirling in his stomach stopping him from acknowledging the truth, but yet, one soft, pained look from Donna and Josh found himself relaxing just enough to speak

“I have something on him” Donna sighed, her eyes blazing with regret. Josh’s mind quickly filled away just how passionate her eyes were, telling every emotion she felt through the way her eyes lit up “I really don’t want to use it”

Josh didn’t need to ask how serious it was, instead, he just grabbed Donna out of the hallway and into a nearby room “Donna what do you have”

“Bakers wife, she has a” Donna paused trying to carefully choose the words coming out of her mouth “problem with medication due to a history of depression 

“You’re certain?” Josh questioned 

Donna nodded “It’s not the most well-known secret in Washington but certainly more public than Baker would like “ I have known for quite some time but I didn’t see the need in sharing that until I had a reason” Josh’s heart swelled at the compassion Donna showed, had always shown. 

“Does Russell have this as well?” Josh wasn’t sure how much he liked having this decision in his hands “I know Santos won’t want to use this” 

Donna raised her eyes briefly “Do you want to?” her voice quiet with doubt, Josh’s mind jumping back to a conversation so many months ago where Donna had accused him of playing dirty politics, at the time he had brushed the comment off as a sentence spoken in anger, but maybe that’s how she saw him. The guy who would do anything, hurt anyone hurt her if it meant getting what he wanted. 

Josh couldn’t help turning away from Donna “I don’t know” he muttered, refusing to lie to Donna 

“Will would do it” Donna sighs, “not out of spite and not because he wants to bring this woman down but because he will feel betrayed by Baker”

“So your recommendation is?” Josh puts on his political facade, he was hurt by Donna’s questioning yes, but he had a job to do.

“We do nothing, somehow both Baker and Russell will go down and we come out clean while the secrets of an innocent woman get played to the worlds media ” Donna blinked at the tears which had suddenly glistened in her eyes “Sometimes I hate this game” she muttered angrily as she wiped away the tears “and I also hate that I am crying over this” her last comment was paired with an angry breath of air 

“Don’t you dare” Josh’s voice became close to a growl as he wrapped Donna up against him “the fact that this upsets you shows you still care, that you have seen and gone through so many political schemes and you aren’t immune” like me, Josh thought to himself as he pulled away from Donna enough to catch her eyes “That is one of the things that makes you, you, one of the things I lo-“ Josh stopped suddenly catching the words before he could say them. The pair froze briefly, before Donna suddenly broke the space between them, placing a soft kiss against Josh’s check and murmuring a soft ‘thank you’ as she wiped the tears out of her eyes.

“We do what we have to so we have the chance to make the world better” Donna parroted the words that had led them through their time at the White House before slipping back out of the room and leaving Josh still frozen, cursing himself for not saying the words he was so close to saying. 

——————————

Across the convention centre, C.J was engaged in a conversation with the President that had been going on in both their minds for weeks now. 

“Sir, it’s time. Do you know who you are going to endorse”

“Claudia Jean” the President sighed C.J’s name in a way that had become all too familiar recently “that is a question that I have asked myself months now. I will not support Hoynes but that leaves Baker, Russell who was my own VP and supposedly the obvious choice but then we have Santos, the black horse who has all of my team working for him and I am supposed to decide between them” The President bemoaned 

“I understand that Sir, and I don’t want to influence your decision with who I support” C.J tried to remain diplomatic, she knew who she supported, but that wasn’t her call

“C.J that's not the general idea of an advisor and frankly I think I need a bit of advice right now” Bartlet prompted 

“Well Sir, you hired the best of the best when you were campaigning and all of us came to work for you because we believed in you and your message. By that logic I think you have to trust your team, Josh, Donna and Sam all chose Santos because they believed in him” C.J raised an eyebrow, standing from the chair she had perched on, studying the man in front of her

“You need to decide who your successor is going to be,” C.J said finally 

“Yes, I do. Thank you C.J” C.J took the hint that the President needed some space 

“Thank you, Sir,” C.J left the room and went to go hunt down Margaret and continue with her busy schedule 

——————————  
5 pm  
It took most of the day for the votes on the second ballot to be cast through many interruptions by various democratic speakers but finally just as the day was beginning to wind down the first numbers were starting to come back, quickly indicating a tie between Baker, Santos and Russell with Hoynes losing almost all of his votes but Santos and Russell also took a hit to Baker. While most of the junior staffers were still out on the floor campaigning and doing the jobs asked of them Santos, Helen, Josh, Donna, Edie, Sam and Lou were all secluded away as they watched the numbers come through. 

“Josh, where do you think we go from here?” The congressmen asked gravely “is there the possibility of winning from this point

“Well Baker took from everyone, that's how he tied but he won’t get the votes on the third ballot” Josh explained what he and Donna had worked out earlier “the Russell campaign is about an hour away from releasing information about Baker’s wife and an undiagnosed illness that means he is going to take a hit as will Russell” 

“How do you know” 

“Well speaking from experience the voters don’t like it when illnesses are hidden from them so that will pull them from Baker, however, they also don’t like people who rat out other people so I don’t believe they will go back to Russell, although I can’t be certain and that just leaves making sure they don’t go to Hoynes.”

“and how do we know the Russell campaign has something to leak” Lou spoke up 

“because we have the same information” Donna bit her lip, hoping Santos was about to agree with her decision “His wife is sick and abusing medication” 

“You knew?” Santos raised an eyebrow at Donna who just nodded back plaintively 

“Yes sir”

“Donna came to me with this this afternoon, she made a fairly convincing case that we shouldn’t release it”

“It was the right call Donna’” the older man nodded as Donna felt herself relax at the praise. 

There was a long moment of silence in the room as everyone considered the next problem “How do we make sure that we get the delegates back then?” Edie finally asked 

“Well all the candidates get to speak again tomorrow” Santos offered 

“Sam” Donna looked at the former speechwriter “You need to write a state of the union level speech by tomorrow, is that possible”

“it generally took 3 months to write those speeches and nearly killed both me and Toby by the time they were done, so yeah I think I can do it. Congressman, perhaps we could run some ideas” Sam quickly got over the pressure as he began to think about the speech 

“I’m going to go talk to the teachers union” Josh scrubbed his face with his hands

“They haven’t budged yet, do you think you can get them onside by morning” Lou couldn’t help but ask

“Well I need to give it a damn good try” 

“I’m gonna send the junior staffers home Josh, there is nothing more we can get from them” Edie decided as she left the room in hunt of Ronna. 

It was only seconds later that there was a rough knock on the door “If that’s Russell the only deal we are accepting is him as our VP” Josh threw over his shoulder from his place at the large whiteboard in the corner of the room however it wasn’t Will Bailey on the other side of the door but instead The President with C.J and Toby 

“Sir” Donna greeted warmly as she ushered the group into the room the remaining parties looked up in shock as they jumped up to greet the President themselves. 

“Can we help you with anything Sir?” Josh asked his curiosity quickly getting the better of him 

“Well, I thought we should come to tell you who the White House would be supporting publicly as of tomorrow” the President began stiffly but the glimmer in his eyes told those who knew him good news was soon to follow. “Congressman Santos, I would be honoured to support you as the Democratic Nominee” the President smiled as Josh and Sam whooped ungracefully in the background. 

“In the interest of not offending our Vice-President we don’t want this to be public knowledge until it absolutely has to be but we did want to offer any services that could be done secretly” C.J explains, trying to remain serious as Josh picked her up and spun her around, her own voice close to breaking with laughter. 

“I want Toby!” Sam’s voice piped up from the back of the room breaking the celebrations, “If I am writing this speech then I need Toby in with me.”

“Sir, I might have something I need you to do for me, but I think for now I will see where my first meeting goes” 

The President nodded understandingly at Josh’s words “Well I want you all to be up with us tonight after the ballot closes and that is non-negotiable” the President basically demands “Congressman Santos you and the rest of your senior staff are welcome as well” 

“Thank you sir” Santos replies gratefully 

“Toby stay here and help Sam” C.J directed “But don’t think this gets you out of the party and mi Amor, give me a call if there is anything else we can do” C.J broke her Chief of Staff demeanour for just a moment as she grinned at her friends, showing her excitement at the fact they were now supporting each other 

“Thanks C.J” Josh and Donna parroted in unison as they quickly went back to the jobs they had assigned themselves before the brief intermission. 

3 hours of frantic work went by as the team tried to confirm as many extra delegates as possible leading up to the final ballot. 

Josh was running between the Congressman and the Teachers Union, trying to find some ground between the two to pull their delegates but with both the Teachers Union and Santos refusing to budge on their stances Josh had very little leeway to make any decisions. 

Finally, as the darkness drew in around the convention the news crews started to move off for the night, having covered as much as they could that day, giving Donna a much-needed respite from the TV cameras she had placed herself in front of. While everyone else was working behind the scenes, Donna had been spinning the various stories that had cropped up, jumping from news station to news station getting the main talking points out to the public. 

Finally she had exhausted the news stations and they had moved off, leaving Donna free to return to the miniature headquarters set up out the back only to be met with the sight of her family sitting patiently in the corner, watching her intently “Mom, Andrea, Rach, I didn’t know you were back. I am so sorry I would have said something if I knew you were here” 

“Nonsense, we wanted to watch you work” Rachel exclaimed excitedly “You just went on like 20 new stations, that is so cool” 

“Donnatella” Donna’s mom interrupted, sounding timider than Donna had ever heard her “I have to admit, I was wrong about what you do for this campaign and you have impressed me today. You have made the family proud” Donna couldn’t help the tears that welled in her eyes as her mother pulled her into a soft hug but before Donna had a chance to say anything her mother pulled back from the moment “well we better get going” she quickly spoke turning her head away from Donna 

“Of course” Donna sighed the brief moment gone as Donna led the way towards the campaign room. 

“I hate them” Josh’s voice echoed from behind them, startling the three who were not used to Josh appearing from nowhere 

“Union?” Donna called back without pausing listening to Josh’s steps grow closer as he picked up the pace at Donna’s voice 

“They refuse to even consider Santos if he keeps his plans” Josh growled 

“Well maybe it’s time” Donna suggested, turning her head to Josh as he came up beside her 

“To bring in extra assistance?” Josh raised his eyebrow

“Well they offered” Donna finished her idea as a cough interrupted them 

“Oh Josh, I don’t think you met my family while they were here this morning” Donna turned around stopping the two of them, pressing herself slightly into Josh’s side, relishing in the closeness that the convention doesn’t usually afford them. Donna quickly introduced her family.

“Wonderful to meet you all” Josh greeted them “Honestly Donna is such a credit to your family, she is amazing, my rock” Josh explained as he stared down at Donna as he spoke the earnest words, bringing an arm up behind her back

“Josh is the campaign manager, and the former deputy chief of staff for President Bartlet also the greatest teacher someone in politics could ask for and I wouldn’t be where I am today without him” Donna gushed, turning and looking at her family. The grin that spread across her face bigger than they had seen all day. “Josh, you need to stop worrying about the unions now. C.J has basically demanded we be upstairs and we still need to round everybody up” Donna jumped back to their original subject, as she pulled Josh along, bending her head close in to talk with him as they walked, both oblivious to the looks exchanged behind their back. 

 

It took some time to collect everyone up, in particular pulling Sam and Toby away from their writing long enough to get them upstairs. While Sam, Josh and Donna were noticeably excited about the idea of finding themselves with all go their friends and former colleagues in the same place the rest of their group were obviously apprehensive about spending the evening with the President and his highest placed staff members. 

Finally, the large group met the secret service guarding the floor the President and entourage had been placed on. Donna’s face lit up as she saw the familiar guard standing post “Paul!” Donna greeted, “It’s good to see you again, how are the kids?” 

“Ms Moss” Paul dipped his head, maintaining the level of professionalism required in the secret service but the warmth in his eyes gave him away as he grinned at Donna “The kids are wonderful thank you”. Looking up at the group trailing her his eyes widened “Are they all coming up for tonight” Paul asked, looking at the list of cleared personnel. 

“Yes, so obviously Toby, Sam, Josh and myself you know already, then we have Congressman Santos and his wife Helen, Louise Thornton, Edie Ortega, and Ronna Beckman as part of the Santos campaign staff and then we have Sylvia and Andrea Moss and Rachel Arva” Donna listed the names off as Paul checked the list for each name, his partner handing out access tags at each of Paul’s nods. Finally those who the Secret Service wouldn’t recognise had sufficient identification and were cleared to go through. 

Donna let Josh lead the rest of the group through as she fell backwards, joining her family who was looking overwhelmed at the procedures they had just gone through as well as the company they were in “Hey” 

“So who are we meeting now” Andrea sounded apprehensive as she asked the question 

“Don’t worry there aren’t too many more people left to meet, we just have Abbey, C.J and I guess whoever of the assistant pool came with them today,” Donna reassured, quietly glad of her older sisters nerves to meet the people Donna had spent years around. 

Walking into the room Donna immediately cast her eyes around, relishing in the familiar dynamics, C.J, Toby and Sam were debating in one corner, the President, Santos and Leo were quietly discussing the day's events and the assistants were clustered together laughing. 

“Donna” the First Lady greeted joyously “How are you darling?” 

“Wonderful if you ignore all the convention stress” Donna laughed 

“That may be the biggest perk of not running again” Abbey agreed wrapping Donna up in a hug “Right now who do we have here?” Abbey turned on the charm that made her such a good First Lady, greeting Donna’s guest as if they were already friends. 

Not long after Abbey had moved on to talk with Helen, Donna noticed the way both her mother and sister’s eyes kept falling back on C.J who was still mid-debate with Josh despite the fact Toby and Sam had both broken off to return to their speech “You want to meet her?” Donna ventured, grinning at the star-struck group who couldn’t hide the way both faces lit up at the suggestion 

“Oh I couldn’t interrupt, I am sure Ms Cregg doesn’t want to meet us” Sylvia tried to bring herself back to reality 

“I think she would relish the interruption” Donna laughed, watching the exasperated look on C.J’s face as Josh continued getting up at her face. Donna led the apprehensive group across the room “Joshua go and annoy Sam” Donna broke into the conversation breaking Josh’s rant. 

“Donna Moss you always know when to save me” C.J greeted as Josh sulked away from the group 

“I consider it one of my many talents” Donna grinned

“Well-honed I imagine” C.J threw back with a look at Josh before pulling Donna close “How is it I have seen you about six times today and yet I still haven’t said how much I have missed you” C.J gushed 

“I missed you as well, that’s one of the downsides of not being at the White House any more is that I don’t get to see you all every day,” Donna said ruefully before remembering the reason she had come over “Oh! C.J, this is my mother, my sister and my best friend Rachel, they are very big fans of the work you have done for the administration and given that I knew you I thought I would introduce you all” C.J introduced herself with a grin at Donna’s starstruck company 

“This is weird right” C.J turned back to Donna 

“Hmm?” Donna scrambled to catch her train of thought 

“I’m being introduced to the family of one of my best friends like I’m a celebrity, I hate it” C.J’s exasperation coming through in her tone “Not meeting you guys” C.J quickly corrected herself “just that it’s weird 

Donna looked over sympathetically, knowing that the added pressure of being Chief of Staff had been getting to her “Well Rach here knows all my dark secrets from the past, maybe you could compare stories, like the time in 12th grade that resulted in my running through the school topless” Donna ventured, knowing she was going to regret offering the idea to share stories about her but the immensely gratefully look C.J shot her as the previously mute and shy guests began to find themselves relaxing in the company sharing various stories was enough to cover any of the following pain. It didn’t take long for Josh to notice the circle of storytelling, soon the circle had expanded out to include most of the room and while the stories had moved away from Donna the atmosphere had relaxed, leaving Donna sitting contentedly between Josh and C.J laughing at the various antics of the stories being shared. 

 

Eventually the conversations began to die down as the length of the day was quickly catching up with everybody before they had a chance to bid farewell however the President stood up in the centre of the room clearing his throat as C.J working quickly to quiet the room to let him speak a knowing smirk starting to cover her face. 

“Now I promised young Donna here a surprise” The President began looking over to the young blonde “I certainly don’t need to introduce her to any of you of course as she has been an important part of all of our various campaigns, first as the only person who could control Josh long enough to organise his life” Josh’s protests came quick but even he was curious what the president was planning and quickly shut up from after a glare from C.J “Donna had to do some of the hardest jobs of the administration, something that was never really acknowledged and then she spread her wings, leaving to go on the campaign trail, first for Russell and then for Santos and I have it on good authority that she has been an important part of those teams” Donna turned at that to look at the Congressman who smiled back with a wink. 

“But” the President continued “What I think few of you know is the sacrifice she made to work for us, and no it wasn’t sleep” a number of people in the room chuckled at the mention of the long hours while Donna looked on in confusion as she tried to work out what sacrifice she had made. 

“When Donna chose to return to my campaign, possibly due to some frantic phone calls courtesy of Claudia Jean” C.J couldn’t help her nod as she remember what a mess Josh had been when Donna had left the campaign “In order to return Donna gave up the chance to return to college and gain her degree” Donna flushed a light pink as she felt Josh’s eyes pierce into the side of her face at the information that she had not previously shared, too ashamed to let him know how quickly she had come running back to him. Instead Donna sought Carol out, eying the only woman she had told about what she had left behind, Carol, who was now studying the opposite wall and refusing to make eye contact 

“So Donna, with the help of Claudia Jean and some of those assistants loitering around I am here to award you your Masters Degree in management and international relations from the University of Notre Dame.” The president looked pleased with himself as Donna felt tears well in her eyes. The whole room burst into spontaneous applause, celebrating the woman in front of them. It took some nudging from C.J before Donna remembered herself and rose to thank the President 

“Thank you so much Sir” Donna exclaimed shaking his hand as if it were her real graduation 

“It’s the least we could do” the President winked at Donna before turning her around to face the group. C.J was quick to come up and hug Donna muttering her congratulations before releasing her to be embraced by Abbey and then the assistants 

“You helped with this” Donna asked her friends incredulously 

“It’s been a little side project” Bonnie exclaimed 

“It’s been fun, we went through all of your old papers and essentially making your degree out of work you did for Josh” Ginger finished while Carol kept suspiciously quiet to the side 

“Carol” Donna drew out her name as she raised an eyebrow at the other woman 

“It might have slipped out to C.J” Carol deferred, drawing the words out slowly 

“Well, I have to forgive you” Donna conceded, looking at the degree in her hands with a shy smile and another round of hugs to her friends “Wait, that report you asked me to write a few months back out of the blue was that…” Donna trailed off, piecing together the puzzle. 

“Yeah we couldn’t find anything you had done on the Oceania region so” 

“You got me to write a report out of the blue” Donna laughed “how did I not suspect something weird was happening there” 

Donna then quickly bid her friends farewell before her family came over gobsmacked but congratulatory and bid their own goodbye. 

Finally, Donna caught sight of Josh, standing across the other side of the room “Hey” Donna quietly greeted 

“ah-hey” Josh stuttered, caught off guard “Congratulations” he finally smiled slightly as Donna cocked her head at him, years of reading him coming easily to her now. 

“What’s wrong?” Donna asked, studying Josh’s face closely 

“You never told” Josh’s voice was borderline accusatory as he finally looked at her 

“What?” Donna couldn’t help the confusion in her voice 

“You never told me you could have gone back to college” he finally admitted as Donna understood why he had been so moody about the situation. 

“Josh, I chose to go back to the campaign. I didn’t regret that choice one bit. Yes, it meant I didn’t get to go to college but instead I went to work with my friends doing a job that I was incredibly proud of.”

“You don’t resent me” Josh’s small voice melting Donna’s heart. She wrapped her arms around him 

“I could never ever resent you Josh” Donna murmured “and I promise I didn’t keep this from you because I was upset that I was back here but because I knew you would feel as though it is your fault and it isn’t. I promise” Josh’s face relaxed immeasurably at Donna’s words but there was still a pain in his eyes that hadn’t faded “What else?” 

“Nothing” Josh shook his head slightly 

“That doesn’t work on me Josh” Donna stated “What else” 

“Earlier, when we were talking about Santos, you asked if I would reveal that information” Josh paused as if to collect himself before continuing on “Is that what you think of me? Do you really think I would play dirty politics like that?”

Donna wrapped her arms around Josh shaking her head into her chest “You don’t play dirty politics Josh, I was just doubting myself and scared and I held a woman’s livelihood in my hands and I needed to make sure I wasn’t about to crush it” Donna spoke just loud enough to let Josh hear her

“Thank God” Donna felt the words more than heard them as Josh’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her flush against his body both of them enjoying the quiet comfort of having the other so close. They both stood wrapped around each other, their breathing and hearts synced with one another when a subtle cough interrupted them 

“Jed and I are heading off now but I just wanted to say congratulations again” Abbey grinned at the display of intimacy from the pair 

“Oh thank you” Donna exclaimed, moving away from Josh to hug the older woman “and please thank the President again for his incredible present. To know someone of his importance cares enough to do something so important for me means so much.” Donna tried to hide the tears that leapt to her eyes but Josh and Abbey both noticed her emotion and Abbey quickly made herself scarce as Josh wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head 

“You deserved it” he mutters quietly “come on lets get back to our rooms, we have to be here early tomorrow” Josh lead her out the door, his arm still firmly wrapped around her shoulders as Donna burrowed comfortably into his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am very aware that they probably couldn't just pull Donna's degree together like that but I wanted it to happen and I get that sort of power in my own story so I went for it!


	9. Tomorrow is the hope at the end of the day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter. This story has been a massive part of this year for me as I also went through my first year of University and I would often come back to this story when I needed to take some time for myself so thank you all for being so kind with it.

If the previous two days of the convention had been busy then the third day was hectic as the now four candidates were gearing up for the final ballots and their speeches. Josh had been run off his feet all morning with the day starting off with the team reviewing the speech that Sam had managed to write with Toby, the old team coming together once again despite the years apart to write a melody of passionate words with a heartfelt plea’s encapsulating all that Santos stood for and left a number of the longer running team members, Josh included, blinking back the tears that had jumped to their eyes at the perfect speech. 

Josh’s good mood from the speech was quickly shattered as negotiations resumed with the teachers union who found themselves still at an impasse, neither side willing to yield their major points to the other. Josh was about to start pulling his hair out as the negotiations were getting more tense and less fruitful when Donna saw the anger on his face and grabbed his hand pulling him to small room. Josh felt his breath return to normal as soon as Donna’s touch registered against his “Josh you need to relax” words that would have been aggravating from anybody else just seemed soothing when coming from Donna. Her hand ran down his arm as she encouraged him to relax “Why don’t you take advantage of our support, ring C.J see if the president can talk with the head of the union, he might be able to convince him in our favour” Donna suggested. Josh considered her idea quickly before bouncing with excitement as a plan started to form as Josh’s eyes lit up before running off to put the final part of the puzzle into motion. 

“Hi” C.J’s curt tone filtered through the phone 

“It’s me” Josh greeted, knowing C.J would recognise his voice instantly 

“Hi me” C.J’s tone seemed lighter as she registered who was on the other end of the phone “what’s up” 

“I need a favour” Josh admitted 

“What can we do mi amor” Josh could hear C.J’s grin through the phone 

“What is the President doing today?”

“Well other than his usual being the president its a light couple day for him. He just has to be here to announce the nomination” 

“Well how do you think he would respond to doing some light stumping on my behalf”

“I think if it was anybody else asking he would hate being thrown around” C.J trailed off 

“But…” Josh couldn’t help prompt, hoping she was just teasing him 

“But for you, he would be happy to just name the time and place.” Josh felt his heart release as C.J agreed to help out

“Oh thank god” Josh let out a strangled sigh as he realised just how tense this whole situation had made him and quickly tried to pace his breathing 

“You good Josh?” C.J’s voice lost it’s teasing tone instead being replaced by worry instead 

“Yeah it’s just even a busy couple of days” Josh assured 

“Ok” C.J still sounded uncertain but kept going “when do you want to meet?”

“Well we certainly don’t have heaps of time so soon” Josh quickly moved on, grateful for the distraction

“We’ll meet you in the third conference room in 5 minutes then” C.J. quickly decided 

“You are a lifesaver Ms Claudia Jean, I could just kiss you” 

“Yeah well save that for somebody else” C.J. hung up before Josh was able to comment leaving Josh standing standing stunned in the middle of the corridor trying to process what C.J.s last statement had meant 

“Did she agree” Donnas voice suddenly appeared behind Josh, startling him 

“Hmm” 

“C.J. did she agree to get the president on board?” 

“Oh ah yeah” Josh’s voice was doing little to hide how dazed he felt 

“You all good” Donna leant around Josh to catch his eyes her voice filled with a soft worry, she couldn’t help wondering if Josh was about to have another panic attack 

“I’m fine” Josh finally mustered “C.J just said something that threw me off” Josh paused for a second studying Donna before his enthusiasm bounced back quickly and flashed his brilliant smile towards Donna before running off leaving Donna wondering if it was possible to suffer from emotional whiplash. 

“Hey Donna” Leo greeted the still shocked woman “Congratulations on last night” Donna broke her eyesight from Josh turning to look at the older man. 

“Thanks Leo” Donna grinned leaning in to greet him “How have you been? We have been so busy these last few days I have hardly seen you “

“Tell me about it” Leo grumbled his eyes sparkled betraying the enjoyment the democratic convention brought “speaking of which” Leo sighed regretfully looking at his watch 

“Yea” Donna agreed “I’ll see you later Leo” Donna’s mind quickly jumped away from her strange interaction with Josh as she walked away. 

Donna’s next hour was spent with the press preparing them for Santos’s upcoming speech until a roar from the delegates indicated the start of the President’s speech. Rushing out Donna quickly found the Santos group as the familiar rhythm at Toby’s words and Bartlet’s warm tune washed over them. He spoke of his appreciation to the delegates for choosing him 7 years earlier, the work that had been done, the work still yet to be done and finally the importance of voting for who they believed worthy of the role. Somewhere within the speech Donna found herself pressed against Josh, hand entangled with his waiting for the fateful words until finally as Bartlet turned slightly catching the eyes of his former team in the crowd grinning as he announced “Because of his passion, strength and dedication to the American People I endorse Congressman Matthew Santos as the next President of the United States”. The crowd led by Lou and Sam burst into cheers as Bartlet left the stage with a final wave. 

There was a brief intermission after which it was time for the delegates speeches. Baker dropped out that morning after Will had leaked the information exactly as Josh had predicted leaving only Hoynes, Santos and Russell to speak. Hoynes led with a well written speech that did little to inspire the audience followed by Santos’s speech which left the audience on their feet in applause as Santos’s team grinned at each other in excitement. The excitement of the team was quick to dissipate however as Russell presented an equally passionate and well-written speech leaving the audience just as impressed. 

Donna didn’t need to look at any stats to know the result would be close between Russell and Santos even with the President’s endorsement. 

It just so happened that Donna was the only one on the convention floor to see what happened after the speech. As the last one to go Santos was to be followed by the last round of voting and so Donna was beginning to look around, watch the different ways the delegates went but her attention was quickly pulled back to the main stage as she heard a round applause. Flicking her eyes back up to the stage she watched the leader of the teachers union walk onto the stage. 

Donna froze in shock her heart pounding as she knew that the next few moments would decide the result. The delegates were torn they like Russell, he was the VP, the obvious choice but they also liked Santos, he was a little more rugged around the edges but passionate and fresh. They needed someone to tell them who to vote for and all the President had done was confused them having endorsed Russell when he chose him for VP and then endorsed Bartlet earlier. The teachers union could be the light they needed to make their decision. This was where the decision was going to be made and Donna was the only one around to view it. 

If you had asked Donna a week ago why she was working for the Santos campaign Donna wouldn’t have been to tell you. Yes she believed that Santos was passionate about the right things, but she thought the same thing with Russell. If she was being truthful Josh had been the reason she had joined the Santos campaign but standing here on her own, knowing she was about to watch the final decisions of the primaries, her heart racing and hands shaking Donna knew just how invested she was in Santos winning. This was the man she wanted to lead her country. 

Donna was so wrapped in her thoughts she nearly missed the crucial words she had been waiting for but finally as her heart crept up her throat she heard it, the endorsement for President has fallen from his mouth and for once the world seemed to be working in their favour as Matthew Santos became the endorsed candidate. Donna spun round to look at the cheering audience watching as previously discarded SANTOS signs flew into the air attached to a cheering crowd. The growth of enthusiasm for Santos told Donna that the decision had been made, that the crowd knew who they were going to vote for and then all Donna could think about was going and finding Josh. He wasn’t here he probably didn’t know and so she took off, racing through the crowd looking down every doorway and corridor trying to spot the hint of scruffy hair she knew so well. Finally Donna found Josh surrounded by the Santos team as well as the Bartlet staff obviously planning the next steps forward but the lack of excitement in the room told Donna they didn’t know yet. Racing in Josh’s attention was immediately drawn to the blonde 

“Hey, you all good” Josh interrupted himself to grin at Donna 

“Have you heard?” Donna breathed deeply trying to get her breath back 

“Heard what” Josh’s voice grew panicked 

“The teachers union, you got them they just endorsed Santos!” Donna announced keeping her eyes locked with Josh, watching the way his face changed from panic to sheer joy as he realised what this meant for the campaign. The room burst into cheers and hugs as the rest of the room processed the news and immediately started celebrating. Even C.J and Toby burst into applause in joy for the other group but Josh and Donna just kept watching each other, studying as they walked closer to one another. 

Finally, the two met in the centre of the room. Josh’s hands wrapping around Donna’s biceps “We did it” he whispered quietly and Donna couldn’t help herself the excitement of winning and the proximity to Josh and the way he grinned at her with pure joy and love in his eyes. 

The next thing Donna knew she was pushing herself up to meet his lips and Josh wrapped an arm around her back pulling her closer as he wrapped his other hand in her hair and the two found themselves letting go of everything that had held them back and then they were kissing and the world was silent and all they knew was each other, this was the moment that had been waiting for and it was everything they had wanted. 

Finally, Donna pulled back just enough to look up at Josh grinning softly at the flustered look “We won” she whispered back before she realised herself looking around at the now silent room to see the half bemused, half shocked faces who had all turned to watch them. Instinctively she took a step closer to Josh closing the sliver of space between them as she surveyed the room finally stopping to look at C.J, silently begging for her to help them. 

C.J grinned at the pair as she shook her head and began to clap “It’s about time you two” she exclaimed “I thought we were going to have to lock you in a cupboard” The room murmured it’s agreement as the applause and whistles took over the room. “We need to talk later” Josh whispered placing another soft kiss on Donna’s lips, squeezing her hand as the two dispersed into the opposite sides of the crowd to join in the celebrations. 

Donna didn’t get another chance to talk with Josh that night between celebrating and then getting the official nomination, controlling the press and organising the volunteers the two had been hectic all night and so when Donna finally found herself collapsing onto her bed she had resigned herself to pushing the conversation till at least tomorrow and was just hoping that Josh wouldn’t begin to doubt himself before then. 

As Donna pulled her pyjamas on there was a knock at the door. She couldn’t help but glare at it, cursing whoever was pulling her away from her bed but she also knew there was only one person who would be standing at her door at this time so she dragged herself over to the door, not bothering to look out before opening it to reveal a scruffy and tired Josh who grinned at her “Hey” he tried to sound cool 

“Hi” even the exhaustion couldn’t keep the grin off her face as she held the door open wider, letting Josh enter the room 

“What a day huh?” Josh’s attempts at making small talk failed as Donna only turned to look at him as she climbed onto the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest. “We need to talk” Josh’s eyes followed Donna’s movements 

“What happens next” Donna’s normally sure voice sounded uncertain and Josh couldn’t help moving onto the bed to join her. 

“We stop fighting this, we have been pushing against this for months now but both of us know what will happen. Either we give in now, accept the inevitable or we fight it until we break” Josh picked at the blanket on the bed unable to move his eyes to meet Donna’s

“Why do you make finally giving in sound like a bad thing?” 

“I don’t think it is a bad thing” he implored “but there is something between us, something big and wonderful and beautiful and it has always been there. From the first day you found yourself in my office to the nights I spent in hospital after Rosslyn gripping your hand because that’s how I felt safe despite the secret service agents guarding me to watching bad german dubs with you after Gaza and trying to laugh away the fear around my heart to feeling like I had lost a piece of me when you left. I spent so long ignoring this. Fighting what we could of had because I was so scared of it but now I know more than anything that this is bigger than any fear might feel. So I need to stop fighting” Josh’s speech was brazen and all Donna wanted to hear. 

“I want to stop fighting” Donna’s voice was small but firm and when Josh looked up she was watching him intently, tears streaming down her face.

“Why are you crying?” 

“That was the most beautiful speech” Donna sniffed ‘It is what I always wanted to hear. You are perfect” 

Josh grinned slightly before pressing against the blonde. Pushing deeper into the kiss the new couple lost their balance falling against the bed. Donna’s face lit up in laughter as Josh stared down at her his eyes beaming with love and light before capturing her lips again.

Donna quickly flipped Josh over, straddling his hips “are you all in Josh?” she placed a hand against his cheek, gently trying to confirm Josh wasn’t going to run away 

Josh nodded softly “I’m all in Donnatella, I’m all in” 

\--2 weeks later --

The room was silent as Donna studied the statistics in front of her with determination, her lip captured between her teeth. Josh couldn’t help watching her as she sighed quietly, uncapping a pen and scribbling something in the margins in the paper before grinning at something she read. Josh’s heart raced as he watched her. 

“God I love you” Josh said suddenly, freezing as he realised he had spoken the words out loud. 

Donna looked up immediately taking in Josh’s startled look, realising Josh hadn’t meant to say what he said. Painting a blank smile on her face Donna tilted her head slightly “What did you say?” she questioned innocently. 

Josh immediately felt a sense of relief that Donna hadn’t heard him but one look at her eyes, the look of hope and love and Josh realised that Donna had heard him and was now just giving him an out, a way to take what he said back. Josh’s heart swelled with love at the kind and considerate woman sitting in front of him.

“I love you Donna Moss, I am never taking that back”.


End file.
